Pink Panther?


As the last week has unfolded, a new sort of excitement has unleashed itself upon my neighborhood. I suppose it was only a matter of time before this happened, given that nothing overly exciting has been going on around here.

For the last several weeks, there has been a mysterious vehicle parked some place along the street during the day. At first, it was thought it was a friend visiting a neighbor, but no one seemed to know the odd mustached man behind the wheel. And he never seemed to get out of his car.

In an apparent effort to remain inconspicuous, he puts up a visor on the windshield. A good idea, to be sure, unless you leave part of it open on the driver's side of the vehicle, through which you stare out at the street and people driving/walking/biking by.

Needless to say, many people in the neighborhood were not what you would call 'happy' about our unusual guest. So they did the only logical thing they could, and called the police. It has been several days since they called, and we have yet to have a response from that end. But we still have the Mystery Mustache Man.

Everyone jumps to conclusions, and the first thing that comes to mind is that the man is some sort of criminal, or a stalker. However, he has yet to do anything to verify either of these two guesses.

Eventually, Mysterious Mustache Man does something interesting, and breaks out binoculars and camera, and seems to be busy documenting stuff. Hmmm, perhaps he's some sort of private eye?

So we have a hypothetical on our hands. He's a Private Detective, albeit not a very good one. I was always under the impression that, if you are playing personal spy, it's best not stand out in any way. You're supposed to be sneaky and clever, and ideally, no one should know what you're up to. Given that the whole neighborhood is onto this guy, I'd say he screwed up somewhere.

Perhaps it was the fact that he sits in his car all day, perfectly visible. Or maybe it's the fact that he tries to be stealthy by parking in different places up and down the street, though always on the same side of the road, for some reason, and always facing the same direction. Perhaps it's the fact that he owns two Fords, and alternates between the two.

In any event, Mysterious Mustache Man has become something of an annoyance, considering he come uninvited and never bothers introducing himself. Though on the flip side, he apparently has every right to be doing what he is (presumably surveilling/casing the neighborhood), as that is his constitutional right. Because he is parked on the street, that counts as public property, so no one can kick him off their property because it isn't actually theirs.

Mysterious Mustache Man, I suppose, could be doing what he's doing for any number of reasons. He could be an undercover cop. He could be a PI. He could be monitoring my internet habits, and reading this blog, in which case he's in for a surprise. I don't know.

Hopefully, he moves on and lets us back to our normal, dull lives. We can't handle this much excitement.