10 Easy Steps to Learning to Hate Billy Joel

1. Move to Los Angeles.2. Enjoy it completely until fire season starts in August. 3. Breathe fumes and smoke and ash for a few days. 4. Wonder aloud at a party what starts some of these fires. 5. Go to bed that night and get a song about not starting a fire stuck in your head somehow, amidst your dreams. 6. Wake up singing said song. 7. Curse whoever wrote those wretched lyrics. 8. Pose the following question to yourself: Why the fuck was fire used as a metaphor for a song about pop culture? 9. Notice that, when applied to an actual fire, We Didn't Start the Fire is pretty depressing. 10. Damn you for this, Billy Joel, damn you!