It is now almost four months since I left my job. In that time, I have found myself busy with new endeavors, but also enjoying life in a way I had forgotten I could. The change has been a healthy one for me both professionally and personally.
As I have been making my way through this year, I have found myself letting go of things past and focusing more on what I want in my life now. I have been losing weight, and so have been downsizing my wardrobe, and wanting to downsize the amount of things in my life generally. My wonderful sister-in-law recently pointed me to a book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and I am now 60 pages in and completely riveted. A portion I read just now resonated with me intensely:
“If you bought [an outfit] because you thought it looked cool in the shop, it has fulfilled the function of giving you a thrill when you bought it. Then why did you never wear it? Was it because you realized that it didn’t suit you when you tried it on at home? If so, and if you no longer buy clothes of the same style or color, it has fulfilled another important function — it has taught you what doesn’t suit you. In fact, that particular article of clothing has already completed its role in your life, and you are free to say, “Thank you for giving me joy when I bought you,” or “Thank you for teaching me what doesn’t suit me,” and let it go.”
As someone who holds onto things, this a powerful idea. I have come to realize that not only do I hold on to physical things, but I also cling to experiences. I realize now that I harbored the difficulties I experienced in my work life to a greater degree than I had thought, and that there really is something good I took away from that experience. I learned where I worked well and where I didn't, and I learned how to be more honest with myself about what works for me and what doesn't. Learning that has lead me to where I am now, with a more balanced juxtaposition working in two fields I love equally.
It was by no means an ideal way to get here, but I feel all the more grateful to be here now, and to have more confidence in pursuing what makes me happy.