Bowled Over

So last night I decided to go out with some friends after having worked most of the day. And holy cow, did I have a good time! A whole bunch of us went bowling for a few hours, until around midnight, and then we went to Denny's to hang out and grab a bite to eat. I rarely stay out that late anymore (oh my gosh, I must be getting old!), but I figure I earned it. I had a really good time. And in addition to the bowling and the food, there was the added bonus of entertainment at the bowling alley. I'll explain.

We were a big group, bowling league-style in two lanes. Adjacent to us was another group doing the same. The group next to us was the entertainment, but they weren't aware of it. A few of the guys and girls were fine, and seemingly normal people, so other than being average bowlers and cracking a few comments too loudly, they weren't all that amusing. It was the people they were with, specifically two brothers, that were the Real McCoy.

These two brothers were both fairly heavyset. I am never one to judge, but I do appreciate it when you wear clothes that fit you. I'll put it this way: these two guys were plumbers, and not by trade. Every time they went up for a bowl, their pants would slide down and everyone would experience a sight none of us wanted to see. The younger of the two was wearing a shirt that was too tight, and did nothing to make him look muscular or manly. But he sure was convinced that he was the studliest guy on Earth.

One of the best things about these two was how they bowled. I love watching people bowl, because you learn so much about people that way. Well, at least about how good they are at bowling. I've seen some pretty amazing bowlers, who put me to shame. Everyone has a unique style of bowling. No one way works for everyone, it's entirely personal preference. These two brothers, in their "man's man" style, had their own special bowl, as you might expect. I shall now sum up their bowling philosophy in a single sentence:

"Throw the ball as hard as you can down the lane, and you'll hit some pins."

Even after seeing them bowl time after time, I was continually amazed at how few pins they actually did hit. With the amount of muscle they put into their bowl, you would've thought they were trying to push an SUV uphill. Still more dumbfounding was how they never did seem to be able to hit very many pins. Many a frame went by with only one pin being hit, and then a gutter ball, all with their patented "Muscle Master 6000" bowling throw. However, the story gets better.

I must admit, these guys talked to us a bit, and they're actually pretty nice guys, if a bit socially awkward. They tried to talk to the girls and really impress them, but their efforts were feeble. They would do better trying to impress less, and instead just being themselves. I say this because they were very unnatural in their behaviors. What it comes down to is that you cannot try to be like someone else. You have to be like you. But I guess everyone has to learn that in their own time.

Anyway, I admired these guys for at least having their own bowling style. They were very consistent as far as that went, which was good. But get this: they were embarassed about their bowling. Me, I'm not much of a bowler, so I really don't care what others think, and more often than not, I revel in my lack of any real skill. I just like to go out and have fun. But these two valliant brothers wanted to have some form of saving grace for their masculinity. Yep, you guessed it: beer. The whole group didn't finish one pitcher amongst them, but they were very quick to blame their poor bowling on the beer. I quote this line from the younger brother to one of the girls in my group:

"Eh, my game isn't great tonight, like yours. But that's what you get for mixing bowling with alcohol."

I am not making this up. He actually said this. Pretty funny, huh? Yeah. I thought so too.

(By the way, the picture is of a guy who's bowling backwards! I'd like to see that, it's pretty sweet.)