Football Is Fun

Today I had the privilege of watching the end of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Indianapolis Colts game (I won't give away the ending, in case you missed it and happened to TiVo or tape it). It was quite a game. Apart from the game itself, one of the things I love about professional sports is the entertainment outside the game. When you think about it, there's also sorts of funny stuff going on. It's only a matter of finding it.

First and foremost, I always love watching when, after a particularly sordid play, the TV station pans to a coach. Invariably, said coach will not have a smile on his face, but rather will be scowling. Almost always, this scowl is accompanied by a few choice words, none of which are heard by the viewer, but all of which are seen and understood by the majority of viewers.

Take, for instance, last night's Denver Broncos vs. New England Patriots NFL playoff game. I recall quite vividly an instance in which the referees made a call against the Broncos for being off sides. When you're a coach, there is a definite rule of life to follow: whenever a ref makes a call that is either against your team or in favor of the other team, it's a bad call. In this example, the off sides call was particularly detrimental to Denver, and the coach had a few choice words for the ref. This is how I interpreted the coach's little tirade to the ref:

"You fucking son of a bitch bastard."

This is just one example of many. Watch any game on TV, and you will see a plethora of this same behavior. And no matter which team I happen to be rooting for, or whose side I'm on, I always find this amusing.

Some might say this is cheap on my part, to be amused by such free use of dirty language. The language itself is far from funny, and chances are the people who utter these phrases are not all that funny themselves. Nor are they trying to be funny when they say these things. I know they're being manly, tough, and intimidating. But I still find it hilarious.

As long as we're on the subject of football, I will share with you another aspect of sports that I found myself thinking about during the Colts game today. Toward the end of the game, a certain team went for a field goal. The kicker was, obviously, under a lot of pressure. His entire team was counting on him to make the goal, and he also had a full season of not missing a single field goal to live up to.

As I watched in suspense, my mind strayed to a certain movie with a similar character who felt a similar amount of pressure. Said movie is Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. I pictured what might happen to this kicker, imagining he might end up getting a sex change and plotting revenge on the quarterback for holding the laces out.

But I'm sure that's just my imagination running away with me.