The Subconscious Karate Badass

For the past few nights, I've been having what I can only describe as "interesting" sleep. From what I can remember, I think I've been dreaming quite a bit, only they're busy dreams, and I can't remember any of them. Oddly enough, I've been feeling very rested, so I'm not complaining.

When I sleep, I'm generally boring. Ok, maybe that's a lie. When I was younger, I was quite active, and mobile, and often I would fall out of my bed. As I've gotten older, this has abated, and, though this is just a guess, I don't toss and turn too much. Part of this could be due the fact that I go to bed pretty exhausted every day.

I have been doing my best to get an appropriate 7-8 hours of sleep per night, and lately I've been holding to this quite well. This week, however, I noticed that I've been waking up unusually awkward. Sheets are askew, my pillow is on the floor, I don't wake up to my alarm directly, but somehow manage to wake up on time nonetheless.

Yesterday morning, I woke up only to discover that I was hopelessly twisted up in the sheets, and though upon waking I felt I was in complete disarray, I was comfortable. Weird how sleep can do that to you.

Yesterday, though, was not the only time this has happened. I've had a variety of things happen, including punching the wall in the middle of the night, and even kicking and kneeing the wall.

When I was younger, I'd go on trips with my family, and me and my brothers would line up our sleeping bags in our grandparent's living room. We spaced ourselves for comfort, but somehow I managed, one time, to punch my brother in the face. He punched back, but I didn't notice.

Another time, I started out sleeping on one side of the living room, and over the course of the night managed to fight my way to the other side, in the process throwing a few punches, but woke up the next morning clueless as to my violent act. Weirder still is the fact that my sleeping bag was in order, and it basically appeared as if I had been in that spot the entire night.

All of this has inevitably led me to form a few conclusions about myself. It's only logical that at least one of the following be true:

1. I was a Samurai in a past life. How else could I manage to inflict such damage on others and appear to have done nothing of the sort? And what else could explain my sheer mastery of the subtle?

2. Though I've yet to study this form of martial art, I'm a master of Kung Fu. That would explain the obvious muscle and power I possess, and my ability to handle pain.

3. I was a human test to be a secret defense weapon. I have skills buried so deep in my subconscious that I don't even know they're there, and my rational mind would discard any notion of the sort.

These are but a few of the endless possibilities. It's also likely that I'll never know the truth. But I know I can kick some serious ass. At least, I'd like to think so.