While I was working on my next hiatus entry, wouldn't you know it but something else happened yesterday that took immediate precedence over whatever it was that I had had in mind. Trust me, it's for the best. Why, you ask? Simple. Because it involves the following elements all in a single story (though not in any particular order):

  • A car
  • Darwin's Theory of Evolution
  • Monumental stupidity
  • Guilt

Prepare yourself, because here comes the story.

I was driving yesterday, along a dark road in the middle of nowhere. I was driving a mere 30mph, minding my own business. First off, I want it clear that I consider myself to be a decent driver. I'd say 'good', but I don't know that that's always the case. Plus, decent implies that I'm thoughtful and considerate of others on the road. This includes rabbits.

You read right. Little bunny rabbits. I'm as much a fan of them as anyone, and I'm right there with everyone else that they're positively adorable, what with those big brown ears and fluffy white tails.

But the one I encountered yesterday, despite its cute appearance, was lacking a lot in intellect. Either that or it was just plain stubborn, which in this case I admit is a pretty stupid thing to be. Wouldn't you know it, but the rabbit wanted to share my road exactly when I was driving along it. And he wanted to share the same exact piece of concrete too. So much so that he decided to hop right into the line of fire, perfectly in line with my right tires, leaving me with only two options:

  1. Continue driving at precisely the speed I was going and test the rabbit's fate.
  2. Slam on my brakes and probably hit the wrectched creature anyway.

Given the lack of time I had to make this split-second decision, I opted for the former, feeling also that if I slammed on the brakes I might lose control of the car or something. No sense in us both losing our lives. Evidently, the rabbit's time had come.

Unable to change the course of events, I continued to drive. As I heard the thunk of the rabbit under-wheel, a sinking feeling of guilt overcame me. I'm not sure why, but it just did, and there was nothing I could do about it. It very nearly ruined my evening.

Eventually, however, I came to my senses and realized that rabbits procreate incredibly fast, so the one bunny that became Road Kill a la Phil was not going to be cause for a drastic change in the bunny population. Plus, Darwin always recognized survival of the fittest, and clearly this rabbit was not with the times. Cars are a beast of the world, and smarter animals should know better than to jump right in front of them. So perhaps I did my part to keep that bunny from reproducing, and thereby creating more dumb rabbits.

In any case, it's too late to change anything now. And I'm thanking my lucky stars that the damn rabbit wasn't a deer.