While puttering around town yesterday, I happened to drive by a construction site. A new addition to a hospital is going up, a huge wing. Rather than simply saying "New Children's Center!!", it proclaims the name of the politician who's currently governor here, and his wife. So it's going to be the "Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So Children's Center."

This got me thinking. What sort of twisted logic was used to name a medical establishment after a politician? It just seems so wrong. I guess I could understand the case of extreme emergency: "Uh, yeah, I just suffered a [enter terrifying condition here]. Since this hospital is named after me, all services are free for me, right? I mean, after all, without my name on it, it wouldn't even be here."

If this is the case, then I'm dropping everything immediately and am going to have my name put on all sorts of establishments I frequent. Satellite Coffee would become Phil's Satellite Coffee. Saggio's Pizza would become Philio's Pizza. Brickyard Pizza would be Philyard Pizza. Nothing But Noodles is now Nothing But Phil's Noodles. And just so I can corner the market, Cold Stone would be Cold Stone a la Phil.

But of course, places of sustenance are only the beginning. I'd also have to name a few chain stores (specifically book stores and electronics stores). People will see a difference in names (i.e. Phil and Noble or Philcuit City), and will immediately realize that that store is superior to all others. I'll demand a percentage of the profits for use of my name, and I'll never have to work again.

Before long, the name Phil will be associated with inventions, brilliance, and will in general be held in complete awe. Day-dream aside, that wouldn't actually be all that bad, would it? I, for one, would get a kick out of it.