Parking Record

Lately, it seems I have a penchant for getting myself into situations that are, shall we say, tough to escape from. It's not exactly anything serious, but it has generated a fair amount of attention, the most recent occurrence of which involved my parking skills.

What started out as a night out to the theater ended up, to some, a night of hilarity, on my behalf. My friend and I went to the theater, and despite the tiny parking lot, I managed to park between a parked car and the fence that surrounded the lot. I thought it pretty clever that I managed to maneuver my car into the space.

Of course, at the time, I hadn't really considered exactly how I would get out of there, especially considering that the fence ran alongside my car, and then turned direction so that I was in a box, if you will. As we were leaving the theater, I took note of this fact, but figured I could get out the same way I got in.

I threw it in reverse before inching closer to the car next to me. Next, I turned the wheel a bit so that I could back up at an angle and then sort of weasel my way out. Let me just say here that this is much easier said than done. It's incredibly difficult to get out of this sort of spot, especially when your friend is laughing hysterically in the seat next to you.

Those quarters were tight, I tell you, and sure enough, I hit the fence behind me in this process. My next course of action was to continue this soon-to-be record-point turn. Before long, I had managed to move the car considerably, though somehow not in my favor.

My friend's laughter continued, and as invariably happens in such situations, I started laughing too, despite the fact that it was all completely unfunny. There I was, in the middle of the parking lot, trying to escape, and that stupid fence just didn't want things to go my way.

Only after countless more points to the turn was I able to get the back tires on the fence just enough for me to get the hell out of there. Not to worry, I was very careful not to hit any innocent bystanders, who judging by their smirks and tears of laughter (no doubt they could hear some of the conversation coming from me and my friend; that is, her maniacal laughter and my outbursts between guffaws), were not innocent at all.

All I can say is, for all my trouble, I'd better get into the Guinness Book of World Records for this one.