Pizza'd


I have noticed a trend these days among the restaurant business that has nothing to do with food. It's particularly prevalent among chain restaurants. When I go to a restaurant, I'm interested in only one thing: eating. Why on earth would I care about your little "story"? It's not going to make me like your restaurant more if the food sucks.

Last week, I decided to venture out of the known realm of my little world and go to a new pizza place by campus. That pizza place is none other than self-proclaimed world-renowned franchise RedBrick Pizza.

Upon walking in, one might notice the subtle placement of a giant sign right at the counter, proclaiming the "history" of the joint, alongside various edited "facts" about the history of pizza. And just in case you missed that, take a quick glance at the menu, it's there too. (If you want a good laugh, you can read it here.)

My favorite part about all this is the absurdity of the place's name and how they prepare their pizza. For all the pomp and circumstance about using brick ovens, they're at least honest enough to mention that they use the finest new technology for making their pizzas. That's just a way to dodge saying that their "RedBrick" oven is not actually brick, but rather is a modern oven on the inside and stucco on the outside, with brightly colored tiles placed strategically to give the appearance of bricks (insert cheesy joke here).

And despite promises that their pizza is healthier and better for you as a result of their specialness, I have to admit I just don't want healthy pizza. I want good pizza, and if it's bad for me and could cause me great harm, oh well. I'm willing to take that chance.

While the desserts look at least semi-promising, the Italian ice cream (known as Gelato!), is less than a treat. That is, unless you like your ice cream so sugary that Frosted Flakes suddenly seem bland. The taste isn't bad, but if you eat more than a sample bite of the stuff, you'll live to regret it.

So the next time you're in the mood for something new, I would recommend avoiding this spot. You'll be glad you did.