After reviewing much of what blogland has to offer these days, I have noticed some new trends in blogging here on 360 that need to be documented. Periodically, I've seen some of my friends on here blog about some of these trends. In the past, I've seen whole compiled entries about them. This is one of those, and consists of entirely new and mostly undocumented trends.
For the fun of it, I have opted to make this sort of a "How To", or tutorial if you will. Should you have the urge to blog according to any of the standards set below, consider this your one-stop resource. Along with each trend, I offer a simple and easy-to-follow guide for how to be such a blogger.
And so, to kick off the year 2007, we have seven current and entirely new blogging styles, January edition:
- Inspirational Blogger: If you want to share with the world your faith, all that you have learned about said faith, pertinent facts of life from said faith, and/or how you overcame incredible obstacles, this blogging style is for you. It's easy! Simply take all those tear-jerker email forwards you get, remove the text that says "FWD", and post as your blog entries. Be sure to preface each one by saying it made you cry when you read it, and that had you not come across this, you would surely not be alive and well.
- Wannabe Blogger: You want to be popular, and--what ho! What better way to become popular than to become an avid blogger? Start a blog, then post at least fifteen entries per day, all within about 10-20 minutes of each other. For each entry, don't bother to think up a creative title. Just click "compose new entry" and type away anything from gibberish to coherent words. Don't forget to find quotes, varying from silly to philosophical, to use for individual posts. Oh, and never forget your LOLs, ROFLs, and IMHOs.
- Questionable Blogger: Life is full of mystery, and you want every question that pops into that head of yours to be asked. What are you waiting for? Start a blog! People all over the world are waiting to read what you have to say, and are even more interested in adding their two cents to whatever you want to ask about. Be careful, though. Make sure you don't sound like you want to actually discuss any of your questions. You just want the comments and the attention. Here's a sample blog entry: "What is the meaning of life? Why are we all here? And why are we forced to actually find food and other ways to survive if that isn't the true meaning of life? And why the fuck are dogs so happy all the time?" If you want to make it as this sort of blogger, you must take yourself very, very seriously.
- So-So Blogger: You want to get the hang of the whole blogging thing, and notice that many bloggers often have a casual air about their writing. Well, attaining that "cas" style is a piece of cake! All you have to do is start off every single blog entry as if you've just picked up somewhere in the middle. Impossible, you say? Nah, just use words like "so" or "okay", or a combination of them, and you're good to go. See? It's simple as pie. Also, remember to include plenty of extraneous information to whatever you write, or else it doesn't seem chatty enough. If you need, use this example to get started: "Okay, so the other day I was getting my nails done and this, like, total bitch walked in and started mouthing off to me. And I said, like, 'shut up, Barbie, what do you know.' But yeah, so anyway, that's not the point. So I was sitting there thinking about how I really want to get some of those new Stilettos... I know!"
- Apologetic Blogger: You've been a regular blogger for some time now, and at the moment, life seems to be so busy that you don't have much time to sit and blog. Rather than simply not blog other than when you have time, therefore ensuring good quality blog entries, post an entry every few days declaring just how busy you are, and apologize that you don't have time to post blogs or read anyone else's blogs. Keep posting these same entries so people know you're still around and can give you attention.
- Interesting Blogger: You've been on 360 for a while, and have no doubt been quite taken by the Interesting Pages. You notice that the featured bloggers that are deemed "interesting" all seem to have a little something unique to offer. A style, perhaps, or a certain trademark type thing going on. So why haven't you been picked yet? You're interesting, by golly! There's only one solution to your problem, and that is to become a veritable one trick pony. Every blog entry you post must fall under your self-proclaimed theme, and you must never stray from it. Posting at least once a day, if not more, is the only way to get noticed, especially for your little theme to catch on. Sure, it's not ideal, and you might lose some of your creativity and ideas might lose out in the process, but hey, you'll be a star.
- YouTube Blogger: Whether you're a newbie blogger or a seasoned one, if you're addicted to YouTube, you should become a YouTube blogger! Toss aside any reasonable use of embedded videos, such as to show one cool video, or perhaps to use a video to help make a point, or better yet to show off something you yourself filmed and edited. It's time to let YouTube do the blogging for you! Surf YouTube for hours on end, copying code for each video you watch and think the world of. Put them all (minimum of 7 videos) into a single blog entry, and post away. Never worry about actually typing anything in yourself, save a small preface or a title and/or description above each video. Bloggers everywhere will surely love you for being such a video sleuth, and no one will curse you for using up all their bandwidth and making navigation away from your page a pain in the ass.
That concludes the January 2007 edition of Blogging Types. If you have noticed any types that seem to be missing, that are also new and exciting, please say so, and I will be sure to get them documented for a future edition (maybe February).