Well, St. Patrick's Day has come and gone. My three-day celebration of green is over. All in all, it was a pretty good time. For your convenience, I've lumped the high lights into an incredible bulleted list. Let's take a look.

  • One of my goals for the weekend was to drink green beer. Unfortunately, this never happened. I had intended to go to every bar I could until I found one that served the stuff, but never wound up going out. The evening started out with dinner with the folks, and the plan was then to go out on the town. But given Albuquerque's track record for drunk driving, and with my exhaustion (you'll soon see why) factored in, I opted to turn in early.
  • Saturday morning, I had to get up even earlier than usual lately. I've been doing training for my job, which takes place at the ungodly hour of 8am each Saturday and goes for four hours nonstop. On this particular day, I happened to have a paper/project that needed to be turned in, and my printer wasn't working. So I had to save it to my little jump drive and then go to Kinko's. Let me tell you about that:

    Phil arrives at 7:38 in the morning (they're open 24 hours). Phil exits car. Phil tries to enter building at employee entrance. Phil realizes he can't enter there. Phil goes to front entrance. Phil walks in and looks around for signs of life. Phil finds some. Phil says he needs to print two copies of his paper. Phil is told that that's cool. Phil watches as life form proceeds to "help" Phil. Phil watches helper person fail, and take five minutes to realize it.

    Phil looks at watch. Phil sees that it's 7:45. Phil sends telepathic message to helper to hurry the fuck up. Phil sees second helper show up and then tell helper #1 that he did it wrong. Phil watches "teaching moment" and sends telepathic message ("I hate you") to both helpers. Phil checks watch again and sees that it's 7:49. Phil says "I just need two copies, pronto" to try to speed up process.

    Phil gets response of "It will only be a moment." Phil watches as teaching moment part two unfolds. Phil decides he hates Kinko's. Phil checks watch once more: 7:54. Phil hears printer printing. Phil sighs with relief. Phil greedily grabs papers out of helper's hands. Phil staples papers. Phil hears helper: "That'll be $19.97." Phil sends new telepathic message: "I hate you even more now." Phil notices that telepathy works. Phil hears helper #2: "No, you did that wrong, it's only $1.79." Phil pays and sends final telepathic message: "I got what I wanted, but I still hate you both." Phil leaves Kinko's by 8:04 and goes to class, where he arrives late.

  • Despite the fact that Saturday was St. Patrick's Day, I noticed throughout the course of the day that there was a serious lack of spirit for the holiday. Of the meager amount of people who actually did wear green, most of them only made a half-assed effort at it. Here's a short list of people who sucked:
    • Citizens I encountered at various stores.
    • Target employees--those punks were all wearing red and khaki.

So there you have my St. Patrick's Day report. Chik-a-chik-ahhhh.