C.O.L.D.

I've been freezing all day long. And in theory, it hasn't been that cold today. Seriously. I feel lucky that I didn't get frostbite. No gangrene to speak of, either. And that seems like the biggest stroke of luck, because damn. I may as well have been in the Arctic. Oh sure, the meteorologists probably said it was in the 40's, or somewhere in there. I don't know, because I didn't watch the news today. There are those who might say I'm weak (and I wouldn't argue their point). However. They were not the ones stuck in an office that decided to have no functioning heater. Or should I say, a heater that turned into a total tease. The main unit was working just fine. But the ducts seemed not to be taking said heat to the conveniently dispersed vents around the room.

Which meant that, where the thermostat was located (about a foot away from the furnace), it was nice and toasty. But the rest of the office was fucking frigid. And, lucky me, my desk is located at the point in the room that is farthest away from the furnace. Let's just say that if I was peer-pressured into licking the glass surface on the desk, my tongue probably would have stuck there. Someone would have had to come over and film it, then make some kind of sick movie (no plot necessary, as long as the part with me stuck to the desk by my tongue is included in there somewhere) and play it for 24 HOURS NONSTOP every November 26th.

If it's that cold when I go in to work tomorrow, I may contact the nearest travel agency and book a trip to The Bahamas immediately.