Sometimes I wish I could stop bad television and trade places with someone on screen. Last night, I was flipping through some channels and stumbled upon a very controversial show: Deal or No Deal. I think the controversy of the show lies not so much in what they actually do on the show, but more in what they actually do on the show. For most people, I think it's one of those "hate to love" shows. Not for me, though. I love to hate that show. I saw it for the first time last night, and what little IQ I have was quickly cut in half in the space of one minute. Because there's not even anything engaging about the show. It's not like you're watching some freakishly brilliant trivialist win anything. Hell, you're not even watching anyone get lucky by guessing a letter or two or spinning a big wheel. You're just watching people guess which briefcase has the most money in it, and then get totally pissed off when they pick the one that only has $400,000 in it. There's no skill involved, and you could have a genius pick the case with $1 in it, and then Britney Spears could turn around and pick the one with $1,000,000.

I mean, shit! I would have traded places with the dumbass contestant who whined over $400,000 any day. I'd be like, "Fuck! You have a deal. I'm going home." Not that I would ever be in such a position, but on the slim chance that I was in the audience at that instance, I probably would have run up to her and slapped her. I suppose doing that would be just as good as getting the money, in terms of how good I'd feel afterward.

But as much as I hated watching the damn show, there was one particular aspect of it that was solid gold: the moments during which the camera would sweep across the audience to see the reactions to the goings on of the guessers-that-be. While most of the people were on the edge of their seats, clearly caught up in the suspense, there was one person who clearly knew what he was doing, and who probably should have been the contestant on stage: a toddler. That's right. A three-year-old girl was watching, and every time the whiny contestant would nervously clench her teeth, they'd cut to the toddler, who would have a stern expression on her face who was clearly shouting orders: "Don't be such an idiot! Make the deal already, you dumb bitch!", she seemed to say.

And that one little toddler redeemed all faith in humanity for me that the show had only moments before sapped from me. Yowza.