Sheesh. I missed one day at work, and wouldn't you know it, but the day I return, the work hits me with the intensity of freeway traffic in LA. As in, it's not a pretty sight. Not that it was unexpected, mind, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. The main difference, I think, lies in the area of control. The work piles up, sure, but I can muddle my way through it. This weekend, I had the [questionably] fine folks over at SuperShuttle getting me from the airport to my motel and back again. I used this company once in Denver, and found them to be quite awesome. The LA crew operated differently, in their own little LA style, if you will. Let me see if I can sum up said LA style:

In true LA driver style, ignore all semblance of lane markings, and switch lanes in those big-ass vans whenever you feel so inclined. Drive 50+ mph in residential areas, 30 on the freeway only if there's a big traffic jam (and then, of course, switch lanes approximately every 10 seconds, just for good measure), and then speed up to at least 70 mph when you catch a break in traffic, but don't forget to slam on the brakes when you realize that traffic is shit, and you have to stop after all.

So basically, I paid $50 each way (including tip) for some crazy-ass driver to take my life into his hands (I didn't have any female drivers). The appreciation and gratitude I felt for the drivers and the service they provided stopped at being thrilled to not have to be navigating through the streets of LA myself. Because had I gone that route, I probably never would have left the airport. And if I had, I may have opted, at some point very early on, to turn around and try to go home, only to get lost and wind up in the middle of Death Valley, or else some small town in Nevada, where I would ditch the rental car and try to hitchhike my way back to New Mexico, holding up a sign that might read: I don't care where you take me as long as it's far, far away from LA.

Okay, so maybe LA wasn't that bad. My main complaint was the amount of people, and, more specifically, how much traffic there was all the time, everywhere you go. Maybe all the traffic issues would be resolved if everyone traded in their cars for Vespa scooters. I mean, you'd get around town just as fast, and there would be Vespas everywhere. What's not to love about that? Plus, potentially getting hit by a Vespa seems way better than getting hit by, say, an H2 Humvee. I'm just saying.

And speaking of sayings, that special church had a new message posted for the world to see:

A Christian is a hand through which Jesus helps.

I'll not comment further, except to say that I think it's time they seriously consider firing the creative genius behind these little slogans. I'm half-expecting the next quote to read something like:

A Christian is a lifeguard through which Jesus saves.

And then I'll be able to say I really have seen everything.