I want to like you, NeoOffice. I really do. But you make typing such a slow process, and I want so badly just to be done with this stupid paper. And your word predictions actually waste more time than they save. Your pirate ship logo is cool, but the rest of you just isn't very practical. I want to like you, Apple keyboard. But your weird quirks are sometimes a bit frustrating. Like how you won't delete everything I want you to delete. Or how you sometimes catch or are slow to respond to the touch of my nimble fingers.

I want to like you, desk chair. I normally do like you, but I've spent far too much time bonding with you today. Give me a few days and I might like you again.

I want to like you, roommate. But your poor taste in home decor is getting kind of annoying. Why must you change my bathroom, which I've finally gotten used to? I appreciate the new cabinet, but I cringe at the sight of the new matching towel set with gold-colored trim and froofy miniature dangling cords that are only on one end of the towels. And by the way, I don't appreciate you deciding to make these new changes TODAY, when I was home all day and was therefore unable to actually ever USE the bathroom. Next time I tell you I'm going to be gone all day, as I was gone yesterday, take that as your cue to get said work done THEN.