Twenty-four hours ago, Robert and I were sitting in the middle of a historic theater in downtown Los Angeles, eagerly awaiting the amazing and beautiful Margaret Cho. (We're currently sitting in my room, which is crazy fucking hot, and my psycho roommate won't turn on the A/C, apparently, until August. Yes, she's a bitch. But I digress. Back to the more important topic at hand.) Margaret Cho delivered an amazing performance, as we knew she would. We had the added bonus of being present on a night the show was being recorded. Hence, the day the DVD is released, you can bet I'll be canceling any important appointments for the day and going shopping.
I love live shows. Margaret was my second stand-up show to ever see (the first being Kathy Griffin last summer; what can I say, we love our fag hag comedians, and even though we've never met them in person, we're still on a first-name basis). And each time, we've managed to get what we think are great seats, only to find that someone loud and super fucking obnoxious ends up sitting directly behind us. For Kathy, we had to sit in front of this huge queen who kept shouting "HELLO!" to everything Kathy said. Lucky for us, he passed out drunk half-way through the show.
Then last night, we're sitting there, thrilled to death, when three already drunk crazy women waltzed up the stairs and plopped down right behind us. From what I could gather, it was one of the women's birthday, and apparently she was also a newly out-of-the-closet lesbian. Who was trashed. And kept on drinking. And shouting "Take your shirt off!" at first and then later replacing that with "Take your top off!"
The ladies wound up getting more subdued later on in the show, which was a huge relief. I think it was a combination of the fact that they seemed to be getting progressively more drunk, and also that the jokes were not ones that the partying lesbians could actually understand. I could hear the woman directly behind me laughing this totally fake guffaw ("haw! haw! haw!") that was generally coupled with "that's hilarious." Or "she's hilarious" just to add variety to it. And then, because she was so drunk that she could only self-censor the 't' at the end of the word, an occasional "oh shi--". Then followed by a "that's so funny." The three crazed lesbians, interestingly, laughed hardest at what they said to each other. Every "Take your top off!!" was followed by fits of hysteric giggles.
But Margaret! What to say about Margaret! She's fabulous, she's funny as hell, she's got great tattoos, she's a wonderful person and fighter for equality, and did I mention she's fabulous? She is. Robert decided that he and I, while gay, cannot just be any regular Ass Master for Margaret. Oh no. We are Cho Ho's (spelled with apostrophe because we're not gardening tools). Robert, for creating the name, is the Chief Cho Ho, and I am General Cho Ho, a.k.a second-in-command Cho Ho. Now all we need is some shirts declaring us so. And just for shits and giggles, we'll write "take your top off" on the backs. Because there's no funnier sentence in the world. Ever.