It's already past midnight, I know, but let me first take a moment to wish any of my readers who happen to be mothers out there a happy Mother's Day! Next, a note on how awesome Mother's Day is. The whole day, I didn't receive a single spam email or spam comment on my website. As soon as midnight hit I started getting my usual influx of spam. Spammers don't normally even take Christmas off, so Mother's Day must therefore be the top dog of holidays.

Now then, next order of business. I did manage to leave the house today, just in time for dinner and the Mother's Day crowds. And let me just say this: holy crap, everyone and their mother was out! Literally! Except for me; I was flying solo. And, as a result of my experiences this evening, I've realized that there's another kind of mother that tried to be celebrated on this holiday: the Mother Fucker.

Even though I saw my share of Mother Fuckers on Mother's Day, I propose we make the day after Mother's Day "Mother Fucker's Day". It can become an annual sacrilegious holiday where we celebrate the fine folks in the world who royally piss us off. I make a motion to declare today, May 12, 2008, the first annual Mother Fucker's Day.

  • Let's dispense with the formalities and state the obvious: my roommate. Or, She Who Rearranges Her Dishes Every Other Week Just To Try To Keep Phil From Using Them. Seriously. I wanted to make some pasta for lunch today and couldn't find the stupid pot to boil the water. She is such a Mother Fucker!
  • You know who else is a total Mother Fucker? The guy who was doing 30 mph in the mall parking lot today and almost could have hit me. Had he not slowed down and let me pass, I was poised to remove my shoe and throw it at his windshield to teach him a lesson.
  • I've been working on term papers for the last two weeks, and am finally nearly finished with them. I hate them with a passion, and thus must declare that whoever it was who invented term papers is one of the biggest Mother Fuckers of them all.

Let's see what other Mother Fuckers are out there. Post them in the comments or on your respective blogs (let me know if you're posting them on your blog(s) so I can see them). Let's start the celebration!