You can tell I'm a native because my ears aren't popping

I've been back in Albuquerque for one day so far. It's amazing to be home, and I've found I've missed a lot more of the city than even I had realized. For instance, I love the way clouds form here. And it's amazing how blue the sky is. That's probably in part because I'm a mile closer to the sun than I am in LA, and partly because LA has SMOG. Not to mention twice as many cars as people. Staying up ridiculously late Tuesday night (until almost 3:30), and then getting up at 4:45, was proven 200% worth it when I walked through the door past security and saw my partner standing there awaiting my arrival. I got stuck walking behind a woman who couldn't seem to decide if she should actually risk exiting the area. She showed her indecision by shuffling constantly from left to right, thus making it impossible for me, bogged down with a bag slung across one shoulder and a suitcase dragging along behind me, to deftly football tackle her and leap into Robert's arms like a crazed cheerleader.

It's been great to run all over town. I've found it especially wonderful to know how to get around without once getting lost in the process. Sure I'm not driving, but I know this place like the back of my hand. (Funny side note: the first time I ever used the 'back of my hand' simile... I was probably 13 or 14, and thought I was being savvy beyond belief. Only since I said "I know [insert smart noun here] like the back of my HEAD," I proved to the world that I didn't know shit.)

What's one of the best things to do when you go home? If you answered "Go to the dentist!", you lose. That doesn't mean I didn't go. Because I did. No, it wasn't wonderful. My teeth are white and shiny now, but in order to get there I had to lay back in that dentist chair for a full hour. It probably wouldn't have taken quite so long if I hadn't been on the verge of falling asleep the whole time. That bright white light was shining in my eyes, so I was like, "Fuck this, I'm closing my eyes." Only I'm still kinda tired from all the lost sleep the other night, which means my hygienist had to tell me "Turn your head this way" and "Open your mouth wider" 3 or 4 times a minute. I don't remember, exactly, but I think most of my replies consisted of me either grunting or drooling.

Now, if you answered "Go see Sex and the City with your honey," please step away from the computer, stand up, and jump up and down and whoop a few times. Sure we were a week late, but it was well worth the wait. I wasn't sure how well the show would look in the form of a movie, but I was pleasantly surprised. It stood on its own well enough that someone completely unfamiliar with the show would be able to follow the movie. If you're a faithful fan and have seen every episode of the show, there's lots of gritty inside story and far and away enough new juicy gossip to complement the old. And if you're a casual viewer like me, you probably would have been like, "HOLY SHIT, I REMEMBER THAT EPISODE WHERE CHARLOTTE MET THAT GUY AND WAS HATING THAT SHE LOVED HAVING SEX WITH HIM BECAUSE SHE AT FIRST FOUND HIM SO UGLY." And you'll think it in all capital letters and bad grammar, just like me.

Here's a few things I found myself thinking about during the movie for no reason whatsoever.

  1. Yay for tasteful use of nudity! One word: sushi.
  2. You know that mole Carrie Bradshaw brandishes on her chin? I don't follow Sarah Jessica Parker enough to know if that's real or a character trait for the part, but I'm fairly certain that at one point during the movie it was on the left side of her face, while the rest of the time it was on the right side.
  3. What on earth is going on with Chris Noth (a.k.a. "Mr. Big")'s chest hair? That one patch of hair in the middle of his chest seems strangely out of place. Just saying.

If you haven't seen the movie yet, hurry up and go see it. Whether or not you like it, or find it worthwhile cinema, it's well worth seeing because it offers something for everyone. It's smart and funny and catty and gossipy and emotional. Just don't buy a 75-ounce soda to share with your partner. Because you're not going to want to get up for one moment for fear of missing some really juicy gossip, and you'll end up doing like I did, clenching your legs together and then having to bunny hop your way to the bathroom once the movie is over, all the while fearing that your bladder will suddenly explode.