Having grown up in the great state of New Mexico, I've not had much in the way of strong gay culture. Read: Broadway is a long way away from where I have always been. My partner, being from a good deal further east, is quite savvy in this area. (That's an understatement, by the way.) Last week, after confronting some of the issues I've been facing with my folks, I was musing over my own nature (as I am wont to do from time to time) whilst galavanting around town with Robert. I was well aware that I made every effort to not seem gay around my folks, but I'm still finding out, a year and a half after coming out to them, just how much I'd hidden even from myself. Slowly but surely, I've found new confidence in my own sense of self. And all the while, I've been delighted by many new aspects of gay life that I'd either long denied myself, or else just recently discovered. Mid-muse, Robert mentioned that he loves watching me, and that I'm "like a kid in a big gay candy store."

Sunday night I got to see a whole new aisle of that big gay candy store: The Tony Awards. Growing up, I was never allowed to watch television, least of all anything related to musicals. My family hates musicals. It probably comes as no surprise, then, that I've always loved them. I would have watched more, except I was always outvoted in favor of action movies or incredibly sophomoric comedies (*cough* American Pie *cough*).

Musicals proved themselves a part of my blood the other day, even, when I was telling Robert how I managed to stand up for myself and speak my mind in front of my folks, something I've never before been able to do. Caught up in the moment, I threw my hands in the air and declared "I'm doing this for me!" Turns out I was channeling Gypsy. I've never seen it, but got to see my very first song performed last night at the Tonys. "Wow," comes to mind.

This was my first time watching the Tonys (in its entirety), and I had a great time. I'll spare any intense overview (there's a nice list here), but suffice it to say that I was captivated by the performance from In the Heights, the new musical that took away the award for Best New Musical and also Best Original Score for music and lyrics. The show is about Latino life and identity in New York, and its style of infused rap, hip hop, rock, and pretty much every other brand of music, is refreshing, fascinating, and catchy. I can't wait to pick up the album, and am now itching for a trip to New York to go see it.

After seeing Rent last year, I was looking forward to the original Broadway cast showing up and performing. They had a nice tribute to the show, but as my friend Tipptalk pointed out, it was entirely too brief and didn't deliver quite enough for those of us eager to see a song performed by such an amazing cast and such an incredible show. Good thing I've got the DVD, but still.

In the space of three hours, I learned a great deal, and still left wishing I knew a great deal more. All in good time, I suppose. I just have to keep on living this big gay journey that is my life. Fabulosity awaits.