I have an interesting threshold for things I find terrifying or disgusting. For instance, when I arrived home Saturday night after being out for dinner, I noticed a grotesque-looking arachnid. It had a big black body and four giant, hairy-looking legs. The fact that it was hanging out right where I wanted to put my foot on the stairs made its menace that much more impressive. While my first reaction upon seeing the beast was to sprint away as fast as possible, the fact that it wasn't indoors somehow reduced the overall threat. Hence, I stood over it and stared, deer-in-headlights style, fascinated.

Since the camera on my phone proved useless to take a picture thanks to its lack of flash, I headed inside and snagged my digital camera. Bravely, I returned to the infamous stair in the hopes that a good clear picture would reveal the true nature of the creature. I was hoping it was a tarantula, or maybe a vinegaroon.

My incredible 8.1 megapixel camera, with the bonus of me standing directly above the monster, took a great picture. Only when I zoomed in on said picture, the face smiling back at me was not that of a toothy arthropod, but rather of a cricket. Next to a dead and curled up cockroach. What the fuck. All that adrenaline, over a stupid chirping insect? There I was, thinking that my life was hanging in the balance, and instead of it being a venomous and therefore dangerous thing, the worst it would do would to chew some upholstery.

Unfortunately, my pictures did not even begin to capture the initial sense of creepiness I felt. If you happen to be more savvy when it comes to digital photography than I am (and I suspect you are), tips will be much appreciated. I was so disappointed that it was a damn cricket that I didn't even try to go for a cool shadow picture to try to capture it. Lame.