One: Not clever enough to discuss unladen swallows.

One of the most annoying aspects of living in the valley in LA is that the darn place is full of dirt. This is not normal for a desert, as far as I'm concerned. I'm from New Mexico: I know deserts, and I'm one of the few people in the world who happens to love the brown landscape. LA dirt, however, seems to just sort of hover in the air, for one of two purposes: flying in your face when it's windy out, and for making sure your car is constantly covered in a nice layer of the stuff. Today's rain has been something of a relief, in part because I don't have the time or money to invest in getting my car washed properly. But mostly it's been nice because it washed away much of the muck and the bird shit that accumulates on top of my car. Such are the side effects of parking right underneath a towering palm tree. I'm just grateful that this one doesn't seem to bear any coconuts.