Does this Santa hat make my butt look big?

Festive!

"Wait, I don't get it. Why is this Jew wearing a Santa hat?" you might be asking yourself. I'm all about sending mixed signals, obviously, but this one is really quite simple: this Santa hat screams fabulous. Plus, it's practically a cipah that just happens to be red with white fuzz around it, replete with a coiled spring and ball at the end that's reminiscent of something one of the Jetsons might wear. If it helps, consider it a designer cipah. A faux fur number by hip menswear designer Calvin Klein.

All this is to say, festive greetings for a wonderful holiday! Whatever holiday(s) you celebrate, may it be a fabulous and festive time!