I'm thinking of tea-bagging final exams

It's a little-known fact that graduate students have a natural instinct to hibernate twice a year. Incidentally, the five weeks we crave the chance to shut out the world, curl up in a ball on the sofa, and catch up in one fell swoop on all the sleep we've lost over the last few months just happens to be when final exams roll around. It's unfortunate timing, because really, shouldn't all the work we've done up to this point merit a passing grade, a clap on the back, and a little sticker of a star that says "galactically good job!" on it to put on our hands? I mean, really. If I had to rate how much I love graduate school at the moment, I'd say it falls somewhere between that weird electronic band Eiffel 65 that no one remembers anymore (for good reason) and that shitty excuse of a movie for an already overplayed superhero franchise, Superman Returns. My plans for my upcoming weekend are pretty exciting: writing six papers. The only comfort I can find in this is that no matter how badly written any of my papers turn out to be, at least I'm not trying to rewrite and improve lines like "Oh noes, Kryptonite!" or something. Of course, whoever wrote that shit is no doubt swimming in money, so what do I know.

You should probably take note that neither of my above pop culture references are in any way with the times. Take this to mean that I've mentally checked out for the moment, as it were, as I've had no choice but to immerse myself in academics. I'll be drowning like this for only three more weeks before I'm vanquished once again. It can't come soon enough, honestly, but until that time comes, I'll be over here dreaming about how glorious it will be to not have to study constantly rather than actually getting any of my studying done. It's a worthy goal, to be sure.