Hey, remember how much I complained about having no internet access the other day? How the DSL completely went out and, once it was fixed, it still worked slower than dial-up? Yeah, I decided to change that. On Monday, I got it into my head that since school starts in two weeks, and since one of my classes is completely online, it might be wise to free myself from the free-because-my-landlord-paid-for-it internet and drop some change for my own cable internet. You know, that actually worked. Cut to today, the day I was told to be waiting at home between the hours of 1 and 5 in the afternoon. Just for the record, Time Warner (and other cable companies who might be listening), a four hour window is a murderous amount of time to demand a person be done. I had so much to do, and every time I started to go about doing it, I'd stop myself and say, "But what if the cable guy shows up?" Past experience has taught me that no one shows until at least the last half hour, but that does nothing to stop such lame behavior.

The cable guy showed up at precisely 4:40 pm, a mere five minutes before I was about to call the company and scream obscenities into the phone at the recorded voice on the other end of the line. Because my humble abode already had cable, I had assumed that the guy would show up, test it out, flip a switch, give me a modem, and be on his way. I had no idea that I was in store for a four-hour ordeal that involved pulling everything out and then putting in completely new wires. Only to find, naturally, that the length of wire we had did not even reach all the way back to my house. So, three more technicians and a full spool of cable wire later, and I was in business.

After nearly four hours of waiting, then another four hours of watching the cable guys and making sure that Dylan, the ever-curious dog who loses his shit whenever new people show up on the scene, didn't terrorize any of the poor cable guys.

Seriously, by the time it was all over, I had to jump into the car and leave the house because I just couldn't take it anymore. The most I could do on my computer was to turn it on, click a few pages, then pee my pants because the pages! They were loading so fast!

And now I'm back home and typing this and I literally cannot believe that this is happening to me. Videos are loading in mere seconds' time instead of a couple of hours, I'm not constantly getting disconnected from my email, and in the space of the thirty or so minutes I've been using my computer, I've been so productive! Who knew that when your internet works, and it works super fast, you can actually get done everything you need to do in a timely fashion. It's like that chunk of change to pay for it every month really pays for itself.

(Also, I typed this post in less than ten minutes. In TextEdit. Which isn't even connected to the internet. But that doesn't matter because my internet is moving so quickly that apparently so also must my typing fingers. Holyshitmyheadexplodedit'stimetogotobed.)

That is all.