Confrontation has never been one of my strong suits. I've long been a good listener first and a good conversationalist second. My landlord, on the other hand, has an affinity for considering himself a blow-hard know-it-all and at 60 years old is never going to feel differently. Our relationship can only be described as 'cordial'; I pay him a huge chunk of change to live on his property and in return, I get a cool place to live. To stay in his good graces, I usually find I have to give up one hour per month and listen to him rant and rave about politics and money. As I was having my internet installed Wednesday, I also got to hear him spout on about computers and he started drilling me about why I decided to ditch the internet he pays for in favor of my now super-fast cable. I replied that I needed speedier, more reliable internet, and that the DSL was slowing me down.

Landlord: How much RAM do you have on your computer? Phil: Why? Landlord: Well that would explain why your computer isn't loading the internet well. I have two gigabytes on my computer and it runs fine. Phil: ... Landlord: I'm telling you, that's what it is. Phil: RAM is hardware in your computer that allows all your software to run, and can allow you to run more than one program at once. It has nothing to do with your internet connection. Landlord: Well. Maybe. I'll have to look into it. Phil: Trust me, I could have 500 gigs of RAM and that wouldn't make this shitty DSL any faster. Landlord: We'll see.

The best part of all this? The look on the guy's face when my nerdiness shined and totally owned his masculinity. That was nice for a change.