My Afternoon Inner Monologue While Napping on the Couch For Something Like Two Hours. Or

The Most Unproductive Nap Ever

Or

An Inordinate Amount of Dialogue Considering This Is A Slumbering Monologue

I think I’ll close my eyes. Yes, yes! Excellent idea. Oooh, I’m drifitng to sleep. With my glasses on.

(30 minutes later.)

Hey, I’ve been asleep. With my glasses on. Well take them off dammit!

(Glasses are removed. Sleep recommences. 30 more minutes pass.)

How long have been asleep? I don’t know but I’m so sleepy I can’t open my eyes.What time is it? How should I know? I can’t open my eyes.

(An hour later.)

Wait, have I been asleep? Duh. I can’t seem to open my eyes. Yes I can. Try. I just did again. Nothing. Well maybe I’m just dreaming about all this. Maybe I’m just dreaming that I can’t open my eyes. What a fucking useless dream. Tell me about it. But I still can’t! Yes but even though I’m conscious of this, I can’t bring myself to open my eyes. Right? And then I’ll just fall asleep and then have the same stupid dream again. Arrrrrrrgggghhhhhh.

(And then I woke up.)