My friend Dusty and I went to the local animal shelter the other day. It all started with a rousing debate of "Which Are Cooler: Rats or Bunnies"; afterward, we decided we needed to go see us some bunnies. They were cute and all, but they it's not like they were social, smart, and trainable. No doubt Dusty thought he'd won the debate, but considering the bunnies' only cool points were that they were super soft and they could hop, the fact remains that it was I who won! Plus, Dusty is not the one writing this. I am! And I say that it was me who won! After a while we wandered over to the outdoor area, where there were dogs galore! And suddenly, all those dogs had two gay men walking from kennel to kennel, fawning over them and petting their paws and telling them how cute they were and how much we wished we could just take them all home right now. Amidst the barrage of gay affection, there was suddenly a sound that stopped us cold¹. It sounded like someone crying, perhaps for help? We decided to investigate, and that's when we met this guy:

Yes, the culprit of the crying was this goat. A veritable bounty of cuteness, sideways pupils and all. He calmed down as soon as we arrived on the scene, which leads me to believe that that was his intention from the start: to steal our attention away from all the dogs and reel us in with that tractor beam-like bray of his.

Which further settles the score for my case: even the goat was more social than the bunnies. It's decided: I win.

¹You know it had to be loud to overcome all the high-pitched gay voices we were emitting. I mean, really.