Trying

It’s day two of Blogvember. I’m following the prompts from Andrew Canion, which can be found here.

Sometimes I think about who I am, and where I am today. I think about how I got here, and if this current manifestation of me was where the past manifestation of me really wanted to be. It’s a hard thing to answer, but current me has found that sometimes, I seem to have lost sight of certain parts of myself.

This isn’t expressly a bad thing, because I do my best to move forward, focusing on how I can try to make things better for those around me, as well as myself. What’s been missing, and what I’ve been trying to reclaim, is an interesting thing. Largely, it’s simplicity. I miss the simplicity of my first studio apartment, of a life without the persistent thought of paying down my student loans.

Conversely, when I think about my career, I don’t miss the simplicity of a single job. I run two businesses, and have to plan carefully in order to ensure each is able to run smoothly and effectively. The ability to focus on my work and have a career in two separate fields is worth the extra leg-work required for me to make that possible.

Complexity of modern social networks, and their respective sapping of energy to write online, as I had done for years before, has lead me back to simplify my online presence and focus on having a single blog where I can think out loud, share photos I find interesting, and hold a conversation online, independent of the big social networks.

It’s a fine line I walk, this idea for a simple, calm life with elements of complexity. I am trying to walk it gracefully. I am trying to be mindful of the things that I bring into my life, and the things which I let go. I am trying to take small steps forward, having a little faith in myself to do the right thing. I am trying to not let overwhelm get the best of me. I am trying to walk the path that’s right for me, not the one others think is right for me.