If you've been following this blog for the past month or so, you're probably aware that I'm a huge fan of Mini Coopers. It's true. I love everything about them. They look cool, they're small, they come fully loaded with all sorts of neat stuff. I have yet to find something I don't like about them. Up until yesterday, however, there was one problem I had encountered with the Mini: I had never driven one.

At long last, fortune has smiled in my direction, and yesterday I was granted the opportunity to test-drive not one, but two Minis. The first one I drove was the regular Mini Cooper, which is the base model.

Before going on the drive, I sat in one of the brand new souped-up John Cooper models, which is intense (and which you're not allowed to test-drive). I was amazed at how comfortable the car is, and it even had enough space for me to sit comfortably. I stand six feet tall, but have long legs, which makes finding a suitable car a challenge sometimes, and I was worried that the Mini might be too small. Thankfully, however, this was not the case.

I sat in the car for a solid ten minutes, simply taking it all in. It's pretty amazing, the way it's put together, and I took the time to attempt to familiarize myself with it.

After looking at the car, and talking to the salesman, talks got around to driving one. The salesman was not about to let me get away with one test-drive, however.

And so we began in the Mini Cooper, the base model. I was at first extremely nervous, given that this was the nicest car I'd ever had the opportunity to drive, and also that the pedals are small and I have big feet. Getting going, it took some getting used to the clutch, but other than an awkward pedal, it shifted very smoothly.

I drove it around quite a bit, and then we headed back to the dealership. The salesman then switched cars, and we climbed into the Mini Cooper S: the supercharged Mini, pushing 168 horse power. The car only weighs 2500 lbs, so that's a lot of horses.

I ended up having to take off my shoes, because the pedals were even smaller. This was a special precaution, because recently someone had driven an S with shoes, and his shoe got caught between the clutch and brake on the underside. Unable to stop the car, it was totaled, and he had to pay for the whole thing.

Being savvy, I decided not to take any chances, and the salesman agreed. But man, what a way to make a guy feel comfortable about driving an amazing car. "Oooh, it's awesome, and you can open it up and drive the shit out of it. Just don't wreck it." Uh huh. That did wonders to boost my confidence.

I got it out on the road, and was immediately infatuated. The second you hit the gas pedal, the car jumps forward, and off you go. You're literally pushed back into your seat as the car pulls forward. As you rapidly accelerate, you don't even realize that you've hit 50mph, and you're barely (if at all) out of second gear. Turns and curvy roads are a breeze, even at high speed, as the car hugs the road, thriving on the speed.

Tight spots are no problem. The Mini is small enough to squeeze through just about everything, and you'll never in your life make an easier u-turn.

For quite some time, I have liked Minis, and I always dreamed that they would be a spectacular ride. At times, it did cross my mind that they wouldn't be altogether that great, which while it wasn't a great thought, seemed to be a realistic one. However, I was not disappointed.

And so it would seem that, every now and again, dreams do come true. Now if only I could buy one.

For the past few nights, I've been having what I can only describe as "interesting" sleep. From what I can remember, I think I've been dreaming quite a bit, only they're busy dreams, and I can't remember any of them. Oddly enough, I've been feeling very rested, so I'm not complaining.

When I sleep, I'm generally boring. Ok, maybe that's a lie. When I was younger, I was quite active, and mobile, and often I would fall out of my bed. As I've gotten older, this has abated, and, though this is just a guess, I don't toss and turn too much. Part of this could be due the fact that I go to bed pretty exhausted every day.

I have been doing my best to get an appropriate 7-8 hours of sleep per night, and lately I've been holding to this quite well. This week, however, I noticed that I've been waking up unusually awkward. Sheets are askew, my pillow is on the floor, I don't wake up to my alarm directly, but somehow manage to wake up on time nonetheless.

Yesterday morning, I woke up only to discover that I was hopelessly twisted up in the sheets, and though upon waking I felt I was in complete disarray, I was comfortable. Weird how sleep can do that to you.

Yesterday, though, was not the only time this has happened. I've had a variety of things happen, including punching the wall in the middle of the night, and even kicking and kneeing the wall.

When I was younger, I'd go on trips with my family, and me and my brothers would line up our sleeping bags in our grandparent's living room. We spaced ourselves for comfort, but somehow I managed, one time, to punch my brother in the face. He punched back, but I didn't notice.

Another time, I started out sleeping on one side of the living room, and over the course of the night managed to fight my way to the other side, in the process throwing a few punches, but woke up the next morning clueless as to my violent act. Weirder still is the fact that my sleeping bag was in order, and it basically appeared as if I had been in that spot the entire night.

All of this has inevitably led me to form a few conclusions about myself. It's only logical that at least one of the following be true:

1. I was a Samurai in a past life. How else could I manage to inflict such damage on others and appear to have done nothing of the sort? And what else could explain my sheer mastery of the subtle?

2. Though I've yet to study this form of martial art, I'm a master of Kung Fu. That would explain the obvious muscle and power I possess, and my ability to handle pain.

3. I was a human test to be a secret defense weapon. I have skills buried so deep in my subconscious that I don't even know they're there, and my rational mind would discard any notion of the sort.

These are but a few of the endless possibilities. It's also likely that I'll never know the truth. But I know I can kick some serious ass. At least, I'd like to think so.

It seems as if I've been churning out blog entries like there's no tomorrow, these days. This blog is my 47th entry, which is quite a milestone. When I joined 360, I had no idea what a neat community it was. I didn't guess that I would have my own blog, or that I would enjoy the whole concept of it. But enjoy it I do.

To commemorate the day, I decided to do something different for a change. I will write my piece, but I am also going to ask for your two cents. You'll see what I'm talking about in a sec.

I don't have a cool picture to post and have funny captions be provided, so we'll do something different. The topic of the day is this: weird things seen while driving. You might be asking yourself, what qualifies? The answer is anything goes, short of actual accidents. I'm talking about the crazy things people do behind the wheel. Here's some examples:

1. I'm driving in the city, along a two lane street. A truck wants to turn left going the opposite direction, so pulls out and parks himself in the middle of the road, waiting for the other side of the road to clear. Either the guy was oblivious to the traffic he was blocking, or he was just pushing his weight around, I'm not sure which.

2. An older gentleman pulled, turning right, pulled into my lane. This, I have no problem with, on the condition that you accelerate and join the flow of traffic. But no, this guy wanted to get in the left lane. So what does he do? Slams on his breaks and stops in the middle of the road, until the left lane opens up and he pulls into the lane. You bet your ass I laid on the horn for that one.

3. A woman driving down the road was yakking on her phone, apparently oblivious to the fact that she was actually driving her car. Her hands were flying, she probably couldn't see straight, and her car swerved around the lane. I think her cell phone privileges should be revoked.

4. A neighbor of mine had a late midlife crisis. He bought a brand new Mitsubishi Eclipse (this was in the late 1990s), 6-speed, bright orange. He cruised around town, and even the neighborhood, sitting in his special low seats, one hand on the wheel and one resting out the window, windows down, sunroof open, American flag on the antenna, and really loud crappy rock music blasting on the stereo. Every time I saw the guy I bust out into a fit of laughter.

5. The local car accident attorney, who has billboards and TV spots showing the importance of safety in cars, probably should practice his safe driving skills. Why do I say this, you ask? No reason, other than that my brothers and I saw him driving his Mercedes-Benz, picking his nose as he drove.

Ok, that should be enough to get started. What are the strangest, most bizarre, funny, and/or pissy things you've seen people do in the car? Remember, anything goes. I want to hear it all.

Don't hold back.

Yesterday, I got to go see an amazing concert, put on by none other than the San Jose Taiko. This group has been around for over thirty years, and have taken Japanese taiko drumming to a new level.

Before going to the show, I was not at all sure what to expect, though I knew it was going to be good. I was not disappointed. From the get go, I found myself spellbound by what I saw before my eyes, a group of very talented musicians doing what they do best.

The first thing I noticed was not so much the music, but the style. All the artists were not only intent on playing well, but also on looking good while playing. By this I don't mean makeup and pretty faces, but gracefulness. Part of what made the performance so amazing was that each musician played with such beauty. Sometimes, the group was fully synchronized, other times not, but always the artists were adding a visual element to the music.

As the show went on, I noticed a certain pattern to the music, one that cannot be considered a formula, but rather a form of respect to each performer. I have seen shows in which a particular musician, or two or three, are highlighted and shown to be the best. For the San Jose Taiko, this was not the case. Everyone had an opportunity to shine, on virtually every song performed. A rhythm would be established, and then they would take turns soloing.

As a member of the audience, and even as one sitting far as far back as I was, I could see quite clearly that this was a serious workout. The taiko drums are large and loud, but to be loud they require a hefty pound. The drum sticks used were not small, and some of the drums were themselves enormous.

One of my favorite things about taiko is the style of drumming. Contrary to other styles more commonly seen in popular music, taiko drummers use both sides of the drum sticks. Each side is equally important, and they are used to create different sounds and effects to the music.

So overall, I enjoyed the show immensely. There were a few times, however, that I found myself annoyed. This had nothing to do with the performance, but rather with the audience. Apparently, people are forgetting how to behave appropriately during a show.

For instance, before the show, there is an announcement that all cell phones and pagers must be turned off. A reasonable request. But I guess the guy two rows ahead of me is too good to follow rules, because he pulls out his phone not once, but twice, over the course of the show, and leaves it open so that it shines in my eyes and distracts me from the show. During intermission, I said somewhat loudly that I enjoyed everything except that some jerk decided to play on his cell phone in the middle of it. Hopefully, the guy overheard this, and maybe next time he'll think twice before he whips the phone out again.

Honestly, when you go to a show, you should be going to get away from it all! Don't play with your cell phone until after the show, or else don't even bother coming. You can play with your phone any old time you like, but you can only see a show like this once in a great while.

But I digress. I left the show feeling quite exhilarated, with pounding drum beats in my head and a smile on my face. Who can complain about that?

I read a really strange article today about what sort of random and useful things you can do with ordinary things. The premise of the article was that you don't need fancy shmancy store-bought stuff to do everyday things.

With a small pang of guilt, I admit that I read this article in Reader's Digest magazine. I used to find the magazine interesting, until I realized that it tends to be fairly repetitive. Seems every cover story is about something wondrous and amazing, and quite often articles seem to repeat themselves. Same story, new faces.

The article I read is called "Buff Your Shoes With a Banana." It was actually quite unique, though the writer's anecdote really doesn't do much for the article itself. It was somewhat anti-climatic. But now I'm left with ideas in my head about random stuff.

In the article, the author makes a big to-do about cleaning house, and using all sorts of ordinary things to do the cleaning. There's even a picture of a woman with an authentic pleasantly surprised look on her face, and all sorts of tips on how you can use food for personal hygiene.

I was especially offended when I read the following: "Don't waste mustard on a hot dog--spread it on your face instead!" I guess it's supposed to stimulate your skin and keep it smooth. But honestly! A hot dog without mustard is like a book without words (exclude flip books from this argument). It's just not right.

So as I was saying, there was all sorts of weird hygienic and cleaning uses mentioned, but nothing that really seemed all that exciting. I guess I'm just not real thrilled that mayonnaise can be used as hair conditioner. I did find it cool that white bread is good for picking up glass shards, that at least is something useful.

All this begged the question: what would I find interesting? A variety of things come to mind. For instance, I think it would be neat to have something that could erase ink. I hate erasable ink, because it sucks, but sometimes you make mistakes (with regular ink) that have to be corrected, and whiteout can look pretty bad if you're inept like me. A nice acidic solution from lemon or lime mixed with crisco, for example, would be cool. Though I don't have the most scientific of minds, I'm fairly confident that this would not work. But you get the picture. Something practical, and at the same time useful and cool.

"Oops, I misspelled this word on a really important document, and if I use whiteout I'll get thrown in jail. Good thing I have this citrus crisco solution!"

I suppose widespread knowledge of this incredible concoction might lead to higher incidence of crime, as perhaps people would use it to get rid of incriminating evidence, or they might be tempted to forge things they shouldn't. In that case, I'll keep my incredible solution to myself, and not let anyone in on the secret. It will be safe in my honest hands. Plus, no one will really have to worry because, after all, chances are that all that would happen is the paper gets a citrusy-greasy substance on it, and the ink still shows.

But hey, I can still dream.

Meeting new people is always an interesting experience. There are all sorts of ways to meet people, too many to list here. You'd think there would be some sort of conventional way to meet new people, but that would probably take the fun out of things.

For most encounters in which social pleasantries are exchanged, there are some rules to keep in mind. These generally apply to instances that won't last more than a few minutes, hopefully, but don't quote me on that.

Tuesday, I was introduced into an entirely new situation, one for which I was not in the least prepared. Allow me to set the stage.

I had a nice, relaxing lunch with a few friends after class, in the Student Union Building (we call it the "sub", for obvious reasons). After eating, we stayed a while longer and chatted. Eventually, my lunch-mates had to leave, and I was left alone at the table. Not having anything to do, save an obnoxious amount of reading homework, I decided that I was too lazy to leave, and so stayed put. Out came the books, and a-reading I went.

When I read, I generally don't like a bunch of noise around me. The sub is always noisy, but for some reason, I was not bothered by the noise. I was able to get a surprising amount of reading accomplished, and I was feeling very pleased with myself.

I was oblivious to the goings-on around me, and did not particularly care that the area was full, and people were wandering around trying to find a place to sit. I had my table, that was all that mattered.

But then, as luck should have it, along comes a random guy (whom i'll call Joe). He hovers around my table, just enough to be caught in my peripheral vision, and when I look up he says:

"Do you mind if I sit here?"

I give him points for not asking the rhetorical "Is anyone sitting here?" question. Still, I'd be a total jerk not to let someone share the table. So I say:

"Not at all. Go right ahead."

Joe then thanks me and sits down, and dumps his stuff on the ground and his food on the table. I return to my book, where I quickly become engrossed once again, taking advantage of this weird preoccupation with my homework.

Now, I'm guessing you know of at least one person who, when in the company of others, lacks the ability to simply sit there in silence. Joe was one such person. Despite the fact that we didn't know each other, the silence was killing him. This is just a guess, but Joe was deficient in perceptivity. I say this because, as I was clearly not in a very social mood (as evidenced by my intense focus on the work at hand), Joe decided to break the silence and make small talk.

I did my best to only barely respond, trying to hint at the fact that now just wasn't the time for conversation. But Joe pressed further, and launched into a monologue about himself, what he's studying, his little girlfriend, and whatever else came to mind.

Figuring that I just couldn't win, I tried to salvage things by steering the conversation to more mundane and uninteresting topics. No luck in that department. We talked about physics and astronomy, topics which Joe steered to, given that he's majoring in something to that effect.

I was running out of ideas. How does one get another to stop talking and leave you alone? After several failed attempts, I settled on a new tactic: ask questions (on topic) to which the guy has no idea what the answer is. To my surprise, this worked! I asked about black holes, and worm holes, two things I find fascinating but don't know much about (and neither does anyone else, luckily). Joe didn't know much about that, and had only vague answers to share. I continued to talk about this stuff, and Joe eventually grew weary of my persistence, and decided he had better get going.

I made sure to add "It was very nice to meet you" before he left. I couldn't help it. It's the nice guy in me. And after he left, I was able to return to what I was doing.

Whew. What an ordeal.

Lately, the weather here has been something short of cold. It's January, and I can still wear tee shirts outside during the day. Many people I know rejoice at this lack of a true winter, and relish in the general warmth. To them I say bah! My chances of skiing, which I was hoping to do for the first time this year, have been thwarted, and any wish for a good snowball fight is crushed.

I may live in the desert, but most years it's at least cold during the winter. I find it's generally a good thing, instead of having warm weather tease plants into blooming too soon and then freezing. Plus I like the reprieve from my allergies. In the spring and fall, my allergies get pretty bad, and the winter cold allows me a break.

But the real reason for this blog is not to complain about the weather, nor about my allergies. I wanted to offer tribute to a very dedicated group of people, who I'm guessing have no idea that they are even a group.

These people are those die-hards who are doing their part to bring about cold weather. Yes, it's true. They're everywhere. While I meander around campus in tee shirts, making a statement with words and pictures, these people bundle up as much as possible to avoid the cold.

We're talking all-out snow gear: long sleeves, thick pants, sweater, heavy jacket, bulky shoes, thick socks, wool gloves, scarf, and snow hat. If this was me wearing that in 50 degree weather, I'd probably have heat stroke.

But these brave and dedicated souls never once complain, and humbly take it upon themselves to dare the weather to get cold. It's a daunting task, but somebody has to do it.

Quite often I see a member of this clan trekking around outside, loaded down with backpack strapped on and coffee in hand, and I wonder to myself whether this person has zero tolerance for brisk weather. In all likelihood this is the case. It amazes me how convincing many of these people are, going to such lengths to avoid feeling any cold whatsoever.

It sure is a sight to see.

Yesterday, I mentioned that I had a new and exciting entry to share. I didn't lie. The 'exciting' part is debatable, so I'll let you decide. At the very least, it's new. Anyway, I had said, quite mysteriously, that it would be about "running into people," or something to that effect.

First, I want to take a moment to put this out there: who the heck decided that the word run could have so many meanings? I started thinking about this when I saw someone run a red light. I thought they were driving, but I suppose that a cars can run. The motor can, at least. Okay, enough of this. That was completely off topic, and out of line.

Moving right along.

One of the hazards of going anywhere is the chance that you might run into someone. You're at the grocery and you run into your neighbor. You're at the pizzeria and you run into some college buddies. You're at the ball game and you run into your fifth grade teacher. This form of running into people regards some form of social involvement. You know, play catch-up.

But there is a second, and potentially dangerous form of "running into people," and that is the literal sense. You actually run into them. Most times it's at a walk, but there's no point in arguing semantics anymore.

Yesterday I was at the bookstore. As an innocent bystander, I witnessed two girls walking towards each other. Neither knew the other, both just had something to do in opposite directions. And, as seems to happen from time to time, both were walking the same invisible line en route to their respective destinations.

I watched, transfixed, as I predicted the inevitable. Neither took note of the other until they were a few feet from each other, at which point eye contact was suddenly and instantly established. Girl #1 moved to the right, anticipating the event, and allowing extra space to allow the Girl #2 to pass. Girl #2, however, moved to her left, only she took a large stride and also moved far off.

As you have most likely already guessed, this presented a problem. They were both still in each other's way. Each did the only thing a logical mind would think to do: Girl #1 moved left, and Girl #2 moved right. Then, all of a sudden, Girl #2 charged, and Girl #1 moved aside once again while Girl #2 stalked off with a grimace on her face.

This is not, by any means, an isolated event. It happens to me all the time. In fact, it happened to me today as I was walking to class. What amazes me is that, despite the fact that it's happened before, both people involved instinctively move the same direction, then the opposite, then have to chuckle or apologize before being able to cross paths.

I realize that I mentioned before that this was "potentially dangerous," but I have yet to see anyone actually collide. Someday, though, I just might.

My life has been a bit hectic as of late, for which I have one thing to say: ugh. I like to be busy, but when a semester starts it's always a little overwhelming. But hey, I'm still here, and I'm still me, so no complaints. This week I've been having a bit of hard time finding time to blog. I figure it's just as well, I haven't felt particularly witty this week.

Today I thought up a great topic to blog, regarding running into people. However, I will put this entry off until tomorrow, not only to keep you in suspense, but also because my friend Javacat presented me with a challenge, in quads. So without further adieu, here goes.

Four Jobs You've Had:

House/Animal Sitter - This one started when I was in elementary school. It's one of the perks of having older brothers, you get to tag along make a cut of what they're making. Mostly I just took care of neighbors' animals, most of which were outdoor animals. As I got older, it came to be more, and sometimes I even helped out the neighbors when they were in town. A certain bath for a neighbor's two huskies comes to mind.

Tutor - As the son of a math teacher, I naturally got to tutor people myself. Subjects ranged from what I had taken in school. I mostly only tutored through high school, but tutored subjects such as math, science, and English.

Simmons Radio Group - During my junior year of high school, I got into radio as an intern. That lasted through the school year, and afterward I was promptly hired. I primarily worked in programming, including commercial production, occasional on-air stuff, and broadcasting live around town. I loved that job, and stayed there for three years.

Accessibility Services - This job was an on-campus job at my university. I was a Transcriptionist (our self-proclaimed title; it just sounds so much cooler than 'transcriber'). I spent hours at a time in front of a computer, listening to recorded classroom lectures and typing them verbatim. Not the easiest work, but certainly interesting, and did wonders for my typing skills. I also got to edit books, which was fascinating. I loved the fact that I was getting paid to read books. The most interesting book I got to edit was Michel Foucalt's "History of Sexuality."

Four Movies You Could Watch Over and Over:

Office Space - This movie never ceases to be hilarious. It is unbelievably quotable, and yet so honest.

Pirates of the Carribean - I have always been fascinated by pirates, for some reason. I saw this movie without ever seeing a preview, and I've still never been on the ride at Disneyland. I saw it one day because I was bored and wanted to do something, and so asked my brother if he wanted to see it, as one of my friends had said it was great. I saw it four times in the theater, and of course bought the special edition DVD the day it came out.

American Beauty - If there's a movie that can cover life and all its ups and downs, this is the one. Everything from happiness to sadness, humor to seriousness, and anger to jealousy to fear. Incredibly well-written, beautifully directed, and unbelievable acting from the entire cast.

Rain Man - Dustin Hoffman never ceases to amaze me every time I watch this movie. This film is so sincere and honest that it's always touching. The story matters less than the characters that are involved, and it's impossible not to care about them.

Four Places You've Lived:

This section is boring to the nth degree, because I've lived in one place my whole life:

Albuquerque, NM - I have lived in Albuquerque my entire life. I was born and raised here. I've spent some time in Minnesota, but not for any serious length of time, and certainly not enough to say I've lived there.

Four TV Shows You Love to Watch:

I'm not a big TV guy, but occasionally watch certain shows that I even have spent time watching on DVD.

Seinfeld - There's something about a show about "nothing" that I find both entertaining and amusing.

Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - This show is always fun to watch, and I find that I like it for its wit. Sometimes just watching it is equally amusing to the banter.

Family Guy - This twisted animated show is never one to disappoint. As far as TV shows go, they manage to pack more into its half-hour time slot than many shows I have seen. I love the random turns the stories take, and of course I love all the flashbacks.

Scrubs - This show is always fun to watch. It's witty and smart, and very well written. I love the way they use hypotheticals all the time, sort of showing a stream of consciousness. I think my favorite character is Dr. Kelso. He's so sadistic it's funny.

Four Places You've Been on Vacation:

San Diego, CA - I went on a trip here with my family one time, just for a four-day long weekend. It was one of the best trips ever! We explored the city, got to see some cool museums, a really cool aquarium by the beach, and Legoland. Legoland is one of the coolest places ever.

Phoenix, AZ - I've been here on a few occasions, one to visit a friend, and one for a really fun road-trip with my brothers. There's a cool park in Tempe, centered on the only river in Phoenix. We even got to climb what we dubbed "Mt. Doom," a steep hill atop which you can see the city all around.

Las Vegas, NV - I went with my whole family to visit Las Vegas, which was a blast. We walked the strip, took in some sights, explored the area. I learned that mostly it's the architecture on the outside that's best. All casinos look alike. Some of them are worth walking around. My favorite casino is definitely Treasure Island. I told you I love pirates.

Colorado Springs, CO - I went here on another big family trip. We actually took a pretty all-inclusive Colorado tour (save Denver). We went to the Garden of the Gods, a beautiful place to hike; we rode the cog train to Pike's Peak, which is at over 14,000 feet at the peak (the air is quite thin, even for a high-elevation mountain guy such as myself).

Four Blogs You Visit Daily:

Adrian C - A very funny guy, who always has insightful and funny blogs.

Javacat - She is a phenomenal writer, a very well-rounded person. Plus she's witty, funny, and extremely creative.

Nikki - An all-around fun person, activist, and from what I understand, a very talented actress.

Kev - A talented chef and thoughtful guy, who always has interesting thoughts and experiences to share.

Four of Your Favorite Foods:

Green chile is at the very top of the list. I'm a native New Mexican, and I can't get enough of the stuff.

Nachos, always with the inclusion of green chile on them.

Both New Mexican and Mexican food, especially enchiladas and chile rellenos.

Apricot chicken, my mom's style. There's something about that combination that is out of this world.

Four Places You'd Rather Be:

This is a toughie, because I am rather fond of New Mexico...

Brazil - Either Sao Paulo or Rio de Janeiro. I've never been, but I've heard it's beautiful, and fun. Plus it's got a good heavy metal scene.

Louisiana - I have a lot of family out there, and love Cajun Country. I just wish I didn't have such bad allergies.

Australia - Down Under would be a lovely place, kickin' back, going surfing, and spending lots of time outdoors.

Flagstaff, AZ - I love mountains. Flagstaff is awesome, quaint, fun, and at a high elevation. Plus it's not too far from Phoenix, where there's all sorts of stuff (including heat).

Four Albums You Can't Live Without:

Pink Floyd - Animals - This is my absolute favorite album of all time, it is a stroke of genius.

Lostprophets - Start Something - I got this CD when it first came out almost two years ago, and it is still amazing. The lyrics are intense, the music is powerful. The only way to listen is from start to finish.

Dream Theater - Train of Thought - This album showcases brilliant musicianship and lyrics. Though some fans of DT argue that it's the decline of their music, and cannot compare to their masterpiece Images and Words, I find the album incredible, and cannot get enough of it.

Ben Folds Five - Whatever and Ever Amen - This was my induction into the world of Ben Folds, whose nonsensical piano rock is catchy and addictive. From start to finish, the album flows smoothly, and it's impossible not to sing along.

Four Cars You've Owned:

I've never actually owned a car of my own, so I'm going to also include cars that I want to own.

Toyota Camry - This was the first car I ever drove, from the very beginning. It was a great car, and got me where I needed to go, even though it was a bit underpowered.

Toyota Tacoma - This pickup truck is awesome. It's little, but it's got some power, and it does everything it needs to do. I share it with my brothers.

And now for the cars I want to own...

Mini Cooper S - This is my dream car. It's little, it's fast, and it's nimble. What more could I possibly want in a car?

Honda Civic Coupe (supercharged, of course) - This is slightly more affordable than the Mini right now, and might be the car I spring for before I've got enough money to get me a Mini.

Now for the four people I choose for this mission, should they choose to accept it:

Karin, Adrian, Dudus Maximus, and Nikki.

Good luck.

Before I begin, I would like to make the following disclaimer:

I do not study sociology. I just happen to like people watching, and I am forever seeing new, unusual, funny, or pitiful things people do.

Today was no exception. I commute to school, and then park and take a shuttle to campus. The shuttle system at my school is nothing fancy, just buses. They run on a regular route throughout the day. In the morning, when I arrive, there's generally a mass of humanity riding the bus, most of whom are half-asleep, holding coffee and looking like they'll jump you should you have the gall to utter the words "good morning" to them.

But today, my story takes place in the early afternoon, as I was leaving campus for the day. I rode the shuttle to the parking lot, and everything proceeded as usual until it stopped and I had to get off.

Most times, people riding the shuttles understand how the system works. When the bus stops, and you're waiting to get on, it's generally appropriate to allow people to get off first. Then you may hop aboard and take a seat. This is a rule for several reasons: first, it's a matter of politeness. Second, it's easier to let people off before barging in, otherwise it gets crowded and hard to move around. And third, it's much easier to find an open seat this way.

I am a realist, and understand that not everyone understands this logic. I can easily look past someone accidentally climbing aboard absentmindedly, too distracted in self-thought to pay much attention. Or perhaps a person is simply unaware that others are exiting the vehicle.

Imagine my surprise when some guy decides to rush the bus as soon as the doors open. I imagine he was standing there waiting, anticipating how he would spring at his first chance, like a cat pouncing on a ball of yarn.

The guy sprang, and flew up up the stairs like a bat out of hell. The poor lady at the front of the bus, who was first in line to get off, was suddenly and unexpectedly broad-sided by the guy. The look on both their faces was priceless.

All right, I admit it. It made my day. I've been laughing about the spectacle ever since. It certainly isn't every day that you have the opportunity to see such a live performance. It's priceless.

Today I had the privilege of watching the end of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Indianapolis Colts game (I won't give away the ending, in case you missed it and happened to TiVo or tape it). It was quite a game. Apart from the game itself, one of the things I love about professional sports is the entertainment outside the game. When you think about it, there's also sorts of funny stuff going on. It's only a matter of finding it.

First and foremost, I always love watching when, after a particularly sordid play, the TV station pans to a coach. Invariably, said coach will not have a smile on his face, but rather will be scowling. Almost always, this scowl is accompanied by a few choice words, none of which are heard by the viewer, but all of which are seen and understood by the majority of viewers.

Take, for instance, last night's Denver Broncos vs. New England Patriots NFL playoff game. I recall quite vividly an instance in which the referees made a call against the Broncos for being off sides. When you're a coach, there is a definite rule of life to follow: whenever a ref makes a call that is either against your team or in favor of the other team, it's a bad call. In this example, the off sides call was particularly detrimental to Denver, and the coach had a few choice words for the ref. This is how I interpreted the coach's little tirade to the ref:

"You fucking son of a bitch bastard."

This is just one example of many. Watch any game on TV, and you will see a plethora of this same behavior. And no matter which team I happen to be rooting for, or whose side I'm on, I always find this amusing.

Some might say this is cheap on my part, to be amused by such free use of dirty language. The language itself is far from funny, and chances are the people who utter these phrases are not all that funny themselves. Nor are they trying to be funny when they say these things. I know they're being manly, tough, and intimidating. But I still find it hilarious.

As long as we're on the subject of football, I will share with you another aspect of sports that I found myself thinking about during the Colts game today. Toward the end of the game, a certain team went for a field goal. The kicker was, obviously, under a lot of pressure. His entire team was counting on him to make the goal, and he also had a full season of not missing a single field goal to live up to.

As I watched in suspense, my mind strayed to a certain movie with a similar character who felt a similar amount of pressure. Said movie is Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. I pictured what might happen to this kicker, imagining he might end up getting a sex change and plotting revenge on the quarterback for holding the laces out.

But I'm sure that's just my imagination running away with me.

Have you ever noticed that the English language is intrinsically weird? I've known this for a long time, but every now and again I am amazed at some of the oddities that come from speaking a language. I won't bore you with any details, but I will give an example.

I imagine you're familiar with tissues, a la the variety used for blowing one's nose when one doesn't feel well. If this is the case, then chances are you're also familiar with Kleenex brand tissues. I am aware of other brands, such as generic, generic, generic, and Puff's, but I only use Kleenex, and so in my life that is the only brand that really matters.

You may be asking yourself, what on earth does this have to do with the English language? And I answer: it has everything to do with the English language.

Chalk it up to the times that we adopt name brands into our everyday vocabulary. And so, when I need to use I tissue, I ask someone for a Kleenex. It just works out that way, it's not a conscious decision I ever made. But here's the kicker: yesterday, I accidently pulled out two Kleenex tissues, and proceeded to state to my brother that I had done so. Here's what I said:

"Oops, I pulled out two Kleenexes--wait, is that right?"

You see, I didn't say two "tissues." Hence, I now view a Kleenex as a tissue entity. Even if I use a Puff's tissue, as I do on occasion, I still refer to it as a Kleenex. But for the English language, we have rules for pluralization of words. Knowing these rules, I immediately questioned what I had said. Should it be "kleenexes" or "Kleenices"? I honestly am left with no idea what the appropriate term would be. Neither of them sounds right, but the second one follows the rules of English (i.e. the plural of "index" is "indices").

I suppose this is the price we pay for commercial culture. When ads are everywhere, it's hard to escape it. Take my recent trip to the mall as an example. I went to park my car, and noticed that the parking spaces were striped funky. Instead of being yellow or white, they were green and blue. I at first thought this might mean it was reserved parking or something, but upon closer inspection discovered that it was an advertisement for Qwest.

The parking lot is a bit old, and the stripes are fading. Instead of paying money to have the area re-striped, the mall obviously decided that someone else should pay. And what better way to accomplish that than to use it as advertising space. It's brilliant. The stripes are apparent, and of an odd color, such that its out-of-the-ordinary nature catches your attention.

I wish I had thought of that.

When I was in first grade, I learned what every kid that age learns about teachers. Despite the fact that you never see your teachers outside school, they don't actually live there. It never occurred to me, or most other kids, that there was no bed in the teacher's classroom. All I knew was that the teacher was there in the morning when I arrived, and stayed even after I had left. So of course I assumed my teacher lived at school. It sure came as a shocker to me to find out that my teacher lived in a house, and perhaps was even married and had a family. My whole world concept was thrown out of whack the second I learned this fact.

Fortunately, I managed to survive, and am happy to report that I am just fine. In fact, I even made it to college, where I remain today.

Much time has passed since first grade, and that lesson I have retained everything I learned about people that year. I never again thought that the cashiers at the local grocery lived there. For the most part, other people seemed to also understand this to be true.

Notice that I say "for the most part." You see, I never in my wildest dreams imagined that any person over six years of age would actually ever question what I do as a person. But I have been proven wrong.

College life is social, and I've met a lot of people. I have many classmates, and I enjoy studying and occasionally socializing with some of them. But I have been noticing, lately, that many people I know who I run into around town ask me the most staggering questions.

Keep in mind that these people are quite intelligent. Put them in a science class and they'll ask questions such as "if you cross benzine with hydrochloric acid, does the polarity actually shift?" If you're a chemist or scientist, don't answer this question.

But my point is, people in college are overall pretty smart people. However, quite a few of them are seriously lacking common sense. I'll provide an example. I was at work yesterday, and I ran into a guy I know from school. He's a graduate student. When I saw him and said hey, I got a very unique response: "What are you doing here?" I was wearing a company shirt and had a nametag on, so I felt it was fairly obvious what I was doing.

In any event, I could forgive the silly question. We're between semesters, and it's okay to take a brain break. But what got me was the guy's facial expression. He looked at me as if to say: "You're a college student, why are you working at this store?"

I didn't have the heart to actually answer that either the explicit or the implied question. Hopefully he'll figure it out eventually, the fact that I in fact do not spend all my time on campus, I live in a house, and I work so that I may make money in order to help fund my education.

This, however, is not an isolated event. I've had quite a few people I know come in and ask me the same thing. I think in the future, I'll just shake my head at people who ask me this. That'll leave them wondering.

This morning, as I was in the process of waking up and starting my day (which usually takes me quite a while, as I'm not a morning person), I found myself musing. You shouldn't be surprised, I do this a lot. But what gets me is that I muse about different things all the time, and today was no exception.

And no, it's not what you're thinking. I wasn't musing about anything earth-shattering or life-changing. That's way too serious, especially in the morning. Care to take a stab at what it was that was on my mind? Oh forget it, I'll just tell you.

Breakfast.

Most days, I never think twice about it, just grab some food and go. This could be because I'm so incoherent in the morning, that I my brain just doesn't start working until after I've had something to eat.

Anyway, today I had a craving for Cheerio's and bananas. Now, I don't know what it is about the combination of plain cereal and fruit, but it is, to say the least. incredible. There's nothing quite like it.

And I'm not talking about the cereals that try to cash in on this astounding combination by throwing in freeze-dried "strawberries." Like I'm supposed to believe that those little red crunchy things that flake off are supposed to be real fruit. Uh huh.

No, I'm talking about the real thing. I took a banana, which presumably came from a tree, that had peeling and all, and sliced it up. And then I put it in my cereal, poured the milk, and entered heaven. It was that good. For that short period of time that was my breakfast, I achieved bliss. It is an excellent way to start off the day.

And now, as I look back on what I've written, I'm not sure that it was such a muse. I guess it just seemed like it at the time. Oh well, I guess I can't win.

It was still great though. There's no denying that.

I have to admit it: I have become hooked on Sudoku. Before I elaborate, let me give a little bit of background on me.

I love puzzles. In any shape or form, be it a conventional puzzle with a picture that's broken in pieces, the 3-D version of these, word searches, word twists, logic games, crossword puzzles, anagrams, jumble, you name it. I'm not sure when this love came about, or why. All I remember is that I loved the way they made me think, and I can never get enough of them.

Recently, this hankering branched out into Sudoku, the "number puzzle crossword" that involves not math, but logic. The concept is simple enough, and if you aren't familiar with the puzzle, allow me to elaborate here:

There is a 9 X 9 grid, broken up into 9 3 X 3 subgrids. In each row and column, the sequence 1-9 must be present, with no repeats, and each subgrid must also contain the 1-9 sequence.

The concept is simple enough. But I never in my wildest dreams imagined that they could pull you in hook, line, and sinker, the way they do. After having done many, however, I can tell you exactly why: these are some of the most satisfying puzzles to complete ever. When you finish working one, you're left feeling as if that hole in your life has been filled, and that the earth has returned to balance. That is, until you start the next sudoku puzzle.

Enter the vicious cycle of sudoku. As I read in one review, but unfortunately cannot quote exactly, things in life fall by the wayside as sudoku captivates you. People will try to hold conversations with you, and the only response you'll be able to garner is a pathetic grunt. Chances are, though, that this person just might get a glimpse of what is distracting you, and become enraptured himself. So it's not all bad.

For me, these puzzles are a great way to escape from reality, avoid responsibility, and enjoy a little time to myself. Believe me, it is a challenge to maintain control of yourself, and only allot yourself a certain amount of time each day to sudoku (i.e. one puzzle a day), but it can be done. I'm happy to say that I am, at least most of the time, able to control myself. But it isn't always easy.

At least now, though, I know what I'm doing next time I travel by plane.

Today I was thinking back to my recent trip, and I remembered a story that I had wanted to share. We spent one night in San Antonio, and got to stay at the Embassy Suites Hotel.

These hotels are one of my all-time favorite hotels to stay at. I'm not one for luxury, so much, but I like the architecture. If you haven't stayed at one, they're pretty large, rectangular or triangular-ish buildings. The lobby opens up into a nice open area with fountains, plants, tables to relax, and so forth. However, you can see the entire hotel from that first floor. Looking up, it's completely open, and the rooms are on the perimeter of the building. There's big skylights at the roof, so there's generally lots of lot in the building, and not so much artificial light. They have elevators that have glass for the back wall, so you can watch everything as you ride them. These hotels are designed perfectly for the best games of elevator tag, let me tell you.

If I had to describe what sort of hotel the Embassy Suites is when you stay there in a single sentence, it would be:

"Don't plan on doing many touristy things during your visit, because the Embassy Suites provides all the fun you need."

Another nice feature is that each morning, a complementary breakfast is served. Just go to the first floor, and you can get a variety of food cooked for you, all as part of the perks of staying there. It's always a lot of fun.

[For the purposes of this story, I commonly use plurals such as "we said" or "our response." Really only one of us spoke at a time, but we as brothers have solidarity, so one person's comments serve as something each of us said, at least in spirit.]

It was the day after Christmas that I stayed in San Antonio, and the hotel was really busy. When we got up in the morning, my brothers and I meandered downstairs for breakfast. We weren't counting on a huge crowd, but the place was absolutely packed. We had to wait in line for over 20 minutes (which is pretty long for that place). When we finally had food, we thought we had been successful. We had beaten time and gotten to eat before they shut down breakfast for the day. But we were quite mistaken. Finding a table was a serious challenge.

We carried our trays, bearing food and drink, all over the place, keeping our eyes peeled for an open table. All we saw were masses of people, and no empty tables whatsoever.

At long last, we spied a table that had just been cleaned. Ecstatic, we rushed towards it, not about to let anyone else steal the table we saw first. Victorious, we set down our food, ditched the trays, and sat down to the breakfast of champions (that we were).

We were heartily enjoying ourselves, when all of a sudden, a middle-aged blonde-haired woman made a bee line for our table. This woman wore a massive scowl on her face, which did nothing to accentuate her features, nor make her appear to be a friendly person. Before we knew it, words emanated from her lips in wrath:

"You're eating my food! Those are my danishes!!!"

Each of us exchanged glances. We were certainly eating danishes, but if they were hers, she must have reserved the entire tray from which we obtained them. This was far from likely. Still, being nice people, we gave this some consideration, and then offered up a response:

"No we're not."

At this point, she recoiled and her scowl, though I didn't think it could do so, became even more exaggerated. Our reply obviously had struck a nerve.

"My husband and I are sitting at this table. We left our food here to reserve it."

At this point, her story suddenly started to become clear. They had evidently placed food on this table to reserve it for themselves, then had gone to stand in line and wait for a meal, never having enough foresight to think about the fact that a hotel employee does not care that an empty table bearing food will be used. They only care that there are people looking for tables, and this table bearing food has no people sitting at it. The only logical thing to do, then, would be to remove the food so that people can use the table. And remove the food they did.

We figured this out, and we were very quick to tell this painfully frustrated woman exactly what must have happened. Choosing words carefully, this is what we told her:

"This table was empty when we sat at it."

For you or me, this would most likely be enough information to satisfy every party involved, and recognize the misunderstanding. Do you think that was the case with her? Unfortunately for us, it wasn't.

Figuring she needed more clarification, we elaborated:

"This table had nothing on it when we sat down here."

Apparently, this woman had convinced herself that we were a bunch of punks, and she was not going to stand for it. She meekly said "okay" and then returned to the line.

After something like this, it is virtually impossible to return to the enjoyable breakfast and conversation before said rude interruption. There is only one direction conversation can go.

You guessed it: the woman and her pitiful lack of intelligence and common decency.

We continued eating, and talking about this, and then, lo and behold, a strange and predictable event occurred: a middle-aged man with black hair makes a bee line for our table (here comes hubby to save the day). I'm not sure about my brothers, but my eyes rolled practically into the back of my head as this man approached. The woman's husband was just as articulate and intelligent as she was, if not more:

"What are you guys doing? This is our table!"

Our response:

"Look, man. We already told your wife the story, but we'll tell the same thing to you. The table was empty."

Man: "But we had food here to reserve it."
Us: "There was no food here."
Man: "But we had put food here."
Us: "Clearly, then, if you can put two and two together, someone cleared the table because they thought no one was using it. We got here after the fact."
Man: [grunt]

And then he glared at us one last time, which I suppose was his threatening way of saying he wanted to fight, or else. I think it's clear that we were all adults in that situation. Except maybe him.

So the lesson of the day is......... well, I guess there is no lesson. We got to stay at our table and finish our meal in peace. The man and his wife got their food, and to our delight, had to search for several minutes before they found a table to sit it. Ah, sweet justice.

Maybe someday they learn simple etiquette and people skills, and develop some patience. But I have my doubts.

Last night, I went bowling once again. I'm not a terribly good bowler, but some of my friends go every week, and it's fun to go with them. One of the things I love about going bowling is that, though the game itself doesn't change, the whole experience is new and different each time. Give this a read and you'll see what I mean.

Believe it or not, the plumber guys I mentioned before were back last night, and they were in similar form. But the real new and interesting part of the experience was not any expert bowlers (there was league bowling, so there were plenty of them) or any awkward bowling styles. It was a homeless guy. When I arrived, I noticed a guy who appeared disheveled and ragged. He was missing quite a few teeth, and though he wasn't bowling, he was smoking and drinking. I figured he was homeless, because later in the evening he fell asleep at the bar/table at which he was sitting.

Sadly, I think the guy had other problems as well. He seemed nice enough, save for being intoxicated and exuding a smell of dirt. I found myself oddly fascinated with his behavior, though. He just sat in his chair, occasionally watching the bowlers or the people coming and going from the bowling alley. He didn't really seem to be paying a whole lot of attention to any of this though.

No, what this guy paid most attention to was the woman on his right, and the guy in the lane directly in front of him. He kept chatting and whispering sweet nothings in her ear, and cheering on his buddy who was bowling. Only no words ever came from this guy's mouth, no woman was sitting next to him, and there was no guy bowling. He was having an entire evening of fun and socializing, all by himself. He actually had imaginary friends, and it was amazing how he looked at them and actually seemed to be carrying on such conversation.

I figured, at first, that he might be doing this to attract attention to himself. You know, perhaps it was a ploy to evoke pity from others. It certainly got my attention, so he succeeded admirably with that part. What was interesting was that he carried this on even when people apparently weren't looking. He socialized for the quite a while, until eventually he fell asleep where he sat.

In any event, I have no idea if he was just pulling everyone's leg. Maybe this guy was just incredibly good at fooling people, and very dedicated to the art of doing so. I don't know, and it doesn't matter. I was nonetheless utterly fascinated, and had to share the story.

So that leaves me with a question for you: what is the weirdest thing that you have ever seen, or have had happen to you, when you went out bowling? I'm betting I hear some pretty interesting stories.

Yesterday, I blogged on what I felt was a killer invention. Today, I decided that, in the spirit of things, I should blog on a terrible invention. You know, maintain some sort of balance to my posts. Today's invention qualifies as the naive terms I pointed out yesterday: it is a machine. Actually, this machine has existed for a long time, this is really more of an expansion on that. So I'll leave it to you to decide if it counts as an invention. Forget it. I'll contradict myself and refer to it as one of the most useless ideas of all time. And now, without further ado, here it is:

SELF CHECK-OUT LANES

Before I elaborate too much on why these things bother me, I feel I should point out at least a few positives. It's never bad to be self-sufficient. It's kind of nice to just do exactly what you need to do and then leave the store. There's usually very little line, if at all (because so few people use them), so you can get yourself checked out right away. The money-taking machine works perfectly. I've never had a problem paying, as long as it's cash or credit. I'm guessing a check would be a serious challenge. Okay, that's enough.

The first thing I think of when I see these things is a terrifying image of the future, where the profession of cashiering (yes, it can be a career, I've met quite a few career cashiers at the local grocery) is replaced by the do-it-yourself craze. Of course, that was my impression when they first started appearing in stores. I have not seen any evidence, nor any indication, that this is or will be the case. The reasons lie in the following:

1. The machines have a multitude of problems. They just don't seem to work like they should. Every time I've tried to use them, I find that I can't get the scanner to scan what it should. After working in retail, I now know that even cashiers sometimes find this a challenge. But with self-scanners, it's even harder as the scanner is in the counter, and can't be moved around to help the laser. It's the same equipment the cashier uses, but the cashiers are seasoned professionals. Customers lack the general know-how to make these machines work properly. It could be just me, but judging by the amount of people I've watched struggle, I doubt it.

2. I'm a people person. I'm friendly, and enjoy small talk with people I don't know (read: cashiers). Plus, as a paying customer, I feel that I'm entitled to be served. If I went in and picked up everything myself, and checked myself out, I think I shouldn't have to pay as much as I do, considering that I did most of the work (save stocking the shelves). It's nice to let someone else do the work, especially after a long day, when I don't feel I have the mental capacity to actually operate any unusual machinery.

3. Almost any time you check yourself out at the self-checkout, you're bound to run into some sort of machine error (commonly caused by you, the customer, and not the machine), and have to get help from an employee anyway. This happens to me every time I've ever checked myself out, and so I figure why bother, I'll just let someone else take care of everything for me. It saves me the trouble, it saves others from getting annoyed by me, and it usually doesn't take too long.

4. If you want to buy alcohol, you're carded. And you can't swipe a card or anything. You have to have an employee approve the transaction. This invariably takes longer, and like #3 can lead to frustrations aplenty for both customer and employee. Again, it's easier to simply have someone else do all the work for you. It saves everyone the trouble, not to mention the headache.

5. Items such as fruits and vegetables, which have to be weighed, virtually guarantee necessary staff intervention. You have to make sure it's the right fruit or vegetable, at the right price, and make sure the store approves of it. This is arguably the most daunting task, as the store employee jumps in during the middle of your checkout process, and then most likely will be confused, and chances are you'll have to start the whole checkout process over from the beginning, only this time with supervision. See? You may as well just have someone else check you out. It makes everyone happier in the long run.

This whole self-checkout thing is much more trouble than it's worth. Simpler is better. Although, if you're stuck in line and need entertainment, it certainly has its advantages. You just might have a funny story to share later.

Today it is time to offer tribute to what has become one of my absolute favorite inventions. This invention is a new idea based on an old concept. Only it's not so new. It's been out for some years now, but the more I use said invention, the more I love and appreciate it. And now, as I can no longer keep you in suspense, on the edge of your chair, itching to know what this marvel is, I will reveal it now...

FOAM SOAP

I know what you're thinking. Phil's lost it. How can soap be considered a worthy of such praise? It's soap! And hey, isn't an invention supposed to be a machine or something? I can't answer that question. But I can guess what the answer is. Anyway, you'll just have to hear me out.

The first time I used foam soap, I thought the liquid soap dispenser was empty. I figured all the air pushed in from people repeatedly pressing the handle had caused the bubbles. But my reasonable explanation was shattered when [gasp!] I encountered foam soap for the second time. I found myself fascinated, and once I realized what it was, I was like a kid in a candy store. I'm so easily amused.

One of the greatest things about foam soap is just that it feels so cool! I'm sorry, but liquid soap can't compare. Bar soap has a cool feel though, so it still gets points for that (and the fact that bar soaps can still be bought that are not anti-bacterial--but I'll save that rant for another blog). Foam soap, though, is amazing because it's soothing. I'd say it's kinda similar to lotion, in that sense, but it's not. Lotion makes your hands all slippery, and foam soap doesn't.

When I was a newbie foam soap user, I found myself doing the unspeakable: when washing my hands, I'd wash them once, and then I'd wash them again. What an incredible soap, to actually make you want to wash your hands. Thoughts ran into my head about how to get kids to wash hands without being too patronizing. I pictured something like a 50's television commercial:

Parent: "Ok Johnny, now that you're done, go wash up."

Johnny: "No!"

Parent: "Johnny, it's very important to maintain clean hygiene."

Johnny: "I don't want to! And what does 'hygiene' mean anyway?"

Parent: "That's not important right now. Just wash your hands."

Johnny: "No!"

Parent: [exasperated] "You can use foam soap..."

Johnny: "Really? Why didn't you just say so?"

Friendly deep male voice: "Foam soap. A better way to stay clean."

Aside from the obvious joy derived from using foam soap, it does have other benefits. With liquid soap, there's always this problem of the soap oozing out of the bottle and making a mess of the counter. Plus, it oozes off your hands when you use it, and half the soap you put on your hands falls off the second water is added to the equation. Foam soap has no ooze, and it remains on your hand. You could probably do the patented Dairy Queen Blizzard Upside-Down test, and the foam soap would stay on your hand. It really is amazing stuff.

So if you've never used foam soap before, you now know what you're missing. What do you think, would any foam soap company want to buy my ad?

Though sometimes it can be tiring and draining, especially on road trips, I love to travel. It's so much fun to get away from it all, and see something different for a change. After my recent trip, I was exhausted, but I did enjoy myself. However, as I watched the scenery pass throughout the cities I passed, I could not help but see all the chains.

I read of a book title once called "In Same We Trust," and I guess the basic idea behind it is the story of how franchises were born into our lives and why they thrive. What really gets me, though, is that more and more, every city you go to (at least a lot of the more metropolitan ones) seems to be a clone of the others. How boring.

Personally, when I go someplace I've never before been, I want to see what that place is really like. Despite the fact that I enjoy the food at certain restaurant chains, that doesn't mean I want to eat there on vacation. I want something unique to the area, as every place you go to has something unique to offer. But according to the previously mentioned book, people tend to trust what they know. They would rather go to Olive Garden than a locally owned, semi-authentic restaurant that actually makes their own pasta instead of using the frozen pre-made stuff. I mean seriously, where's the sense of adventure in that? I want to go somewhere and try new food, or try old food with a few new flavors or spices thrown in there. It's all part of broadening our horizons, and universal similarity is not the way to accomplish this.

I also find that there are a variety of businesses that are open all over, but other than people making a lot of money, there's absolutely no reason to have more than one such store in the whole world. A book store is a book store. They sell books. Why are there so many Barnes and Nobles, and Border's? The owners of these businesses are making a fortune, especially too with the addition of online stores. I find local book stores, though not always appealing to everyone, to be quite enjoyable. The staff tend to be more knowledgeable, and more often than not, they know the whole store, not just one section. Currently, used book stores are my favorite.

But I'm losing focus. I suppose tourism isn't what it used to be, but now I imagine it's pretty hard to draw visitors to your city when the culture people used to visit for is replaced by the culture shared by everyone. I said it before and I'll say it again. It is our differences that bring us together, but make us truly enjoy others' company. Likewise, differences among places in terms of culture, food, social life, etc., brings us together more and makes us all more well-rounded people. As we are continually encouraged via media, ads, politics, and society at large, we should keep in mind that things don't have to be the way others say they do.

So the next time you're craving your favorite burger from Chili's, put it on hold and try something new. Chances are you'll be glad you did.